


blackbird braille

by 3311



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, M/M, Swearing, in this house we love and appreciate north and leo, mystery story with paranormal shenanigans and slight murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-06-25 23:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15651015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3311/pseuds/3311
Summary: Jericho squad but they are high schoolers in a small town mystery. Vague 80s setting before cell phonesFocus is on their friendship and on Markus/Simon in later chapters.Unsure about the rating, but I feel I must mention that Markus and Simon have their first kiss and that's all that happens in that respect.





	1. Chapter 1

It all started with Josh’s car accident the year they turned seventeen, or it may have started even before that, the summer they met when they were thirteen. Josh called it chance, Markus was inclined to elevate it to luck, Simon thought it was predestination, how else could four people so different end up being so close?. He had told as much to North once; she had scoffed and called it nonsense to his face, but now, as Josh picked her up from detention in his ridiculously ancient Volkswagen Beetle so she wouldn’t have to walk home in the snow, she thought maybe she would call it a timely fluke.

Josh and North met first. Fate must have worked overtime to keep them together until Simon, ever their peacemaker, could get to them. Back then, after many court cases and a lot of bad blood that would never go under any bridges, North had been legally adopted by her aunt, Dr. Lucy Kline. They had left everything behind, moved back to the small town Lucy had grown up in; she wanted to give North a fair chance, a complete fresh start. At thirteen not unlike at seventeen North’s anger was ever smoldering, but at thirteen unlike at seventeen she had thought rage was all she would ever feel. 

She was too proud and too self sufficient to ever admit she really didn’t know how that rage would have molded her without the three stupid dorks she had collected. 

“Someone owes me a fiver” Josh said with a smile as they drove away from the school

“Don’t feel so smug” she scoffed, dropping a five in the glove compartment regardless

“Should we up the bet? 10 next?” 

“I’m not a child, you can’t coerce me into good behavior by taking my allowance away” 

“Oh no, no, my bets are for self serving purposes only. Either, you don’t get yourself into detention so I don’t have to come back to school to pick you up, or I win easy cash, a win/win” he said with an annoying grin “What was it this time anyway?”

She shrugged reaching for Simon’s jacket in the back seat, searching the pockets until she found a cereal bar. After she had defended his honor couldn’t Simon at least have better snacks? 

“They were talking shit so I gave them something else to talk about” She bit into the bar, scrunched her nose, cinnamon was her least favorite flavor but it was the one Markus liked best and there you were.

Josh left it at that, knowing from her tone and her actually eating a cinnamon bar that he wasn’t going to get anything else right now. 

Even as a little kid Josh had been aware that being brilliant was not enough, he didn’t have Markus’ money or status, but he had just as many plans. He simply couldn’t afford getting tangled in North’s anger. He had known that since the day he had met her, when he had caught her trying to set a trashcan on fire, which she had achieved with tremendous success. 

Josh hadn’t slept that night sure Gavin Reed was going to come for him. Other kids were afraid of monsters under their beds, Josh’s bogeyman was quite real and lived only a block away. He still remembered the dread he had felt when Sheriff Anderson had knocked at their door the next morning. North had told them- All the nightmares from the night before crashed on him, had she told them he had started the fire? Were they going to take him away? 

North, caught in her little try at arson, had told them how Josh had managed to put the fire out all on his own. 

“Good job, son” Hank Anderson had said with a gruff nod and a pat on his shoulder. “If you come across any more fires call an adult to help you out, understood?” 

And now here he was, picking The Fire up from detention as he had done at least a hundred times before, with time he had learned how to weather it and he could stand very close to it and it wouldn’t burn him, not too often at least. He liked The Fire, life would be dull without it. He desperately hoped The Fire wouldn’t get herself in bigger trouble. He hoped she wouldn’t need him to bail her out in the very near future, at least not more than 3 times- 7 times tops. Anyway, Markus was a trust fund child so they could probably afford a few more. 

“Drive safe, dork!” North said as she climbed out of the car, knocking softly on the hood of the beetle twice.

“See you tomorrow!” Josh said as he watched her go inside her house, in a tone that meant ‘try not to get in trouble in the next 12 hours’

On his way back home it started snowing again, he would appreciate it much more if it weren’t for the ice, but there was a very distinct feeling he got driving just as it was getting dark, the snow fluttering in front of his headlights while he was comfortable and warm inside his car. When he was a child he liked to imagine he could see all sorts of spooks in evenings like this, any moment now he’d see one on the side of the road, maybe a lady dressed all in white, or an animal that didn’t look quite right.

That was when he noticed the hitchhiker and his heart skipped a beat in apprehension and fear, like he had seen something unsettling he shouldn’t have, so much so he didn’t slow down. One second later he was laughing at himself, he was seventeen and he still managed to scare himself, he was glad North wasn’t there to see it or she wouldn’t ever let him live it down. 

Josh was just considering going back to pick him up, it was getting darker and the snow was getting worse. He was calculating his U-turn, looking into his rear-view mirror when it, incomprehensibly, shattered. Mirror chips fell all over Simon’s jacket which North had left in the front seat. He looked back at the road, already somewhat shaken, when he noticed the familiar figure standing right in the middle of it, so close to him his brain couldn’t comprehend how he had missed it before. 

He jammed his foot on the breaks, his car skidding on the treacherous black ice. As everything slowed down, the last thing he saw were the bits of mirror glinting as they mixed with Markus’ pastels and scattered all over the car. The last thing he remembered thinking was that it was funny how only the blue ones were worn down to snubs. Could you buy the colors separately or did you have to get a full set when one shade ran out? 

Then he hit the tree.


	2. Chapter 2

Josh and North’s friendship first building block was mutual respect. The kind of startled respect you have for a big, suspicious bug with an overabundance of legs you have never seen before. 

Josh didn’t have a frame of reference for North’s easy violence. She was quick to anger and even quicker to act on it in the form of property damage and bodily injury. She was a small girl, deceptively slight, as many, many of their schoolmates were to find out when they teased her and crossed her only to get a rise out of her. Someone so tiny, getting so angry, truly the height of comedy for 8th graders. They wanted to see her writhe and squirm, like pouring salt on a slug. 

But this slug knew where your solar plexus was and did not hesitate to go for it with devastating accuracy. Josh heard about these scuffles but when he actually saw one he was amazed at how a small cut over someone’s brow could make a scene to rival those from a slasher film, which Josh had seen exactly once with his older cousins and would never again. 

One of his very core beliefs was starting to take root inside him, violence couldn’t be your go to answer for your problems, without much thought he tried to pull her away. He was taller, but she was stronger, a wayward punch broke his nose. 

To his surprise his parents hadn’t scolded him about it, his father had even said “Try to mind your face next time, son. It is the best asset of the men in our family” and his mother had laughed. Nor did they tell him to stay away from North. 

North was just as distrustful of Josh for almost exactly the opposite reasons. The day after she broke his nose, Josh greeted her from across the street as he walked the Sheriff’s dog. It was an open, friendly wave, a big gauze right in the middle of his face, purple and blue bruising reaching up to his eyes. 

What his wave meant was ‘no hard feelings, I know it wasn’t on purpose’. His sincere olive branch was seen with suspicion. North didn’t have a frame of reference for friendship that was given without any catch, no hook waiting to pierce you, or a boot waiting to stomp on you. In her experience it meant he wanted to put her at ease, and that was even worse than the ones that tried to hurt you outright, you knew where you were with them. The ones that wore friendly faces at the start, those were the ones you really had to watch out for.

They were like that for a long time, respectful and suspicious of each other but also thirteen and lonely. North shunned for being a spit fire weirdo, while Josh had walked away on his own, wanting nothing to do with people who could see someone’s pain and laugh at it. He had been considered a bit of a nerd and a bore, and wasn’t particularly missed. They sat together at lunch, a few feet away. Not really together, not really apart either. 

“You like baseball, right?” Josh dared ask once, gesturing to a glove and a ball his cousin had just given him. Josh was thankful for the gift but he had no real interest in sports. That day he pitched for North, quite badly, and North didn’t make fun of him or get angry. She retrieved the ball every time, seldom saying anything but if she did it was advice “Try to bend your elbow a bit more” “You have to throw with your wrist too, not just your arm” they both knew it was useless, but Josh appreciated the effort.

A few days later she returned the gesture nudging a small transistor radio towards him over the lunch table

“Lucy says you like to mess with old garbage” She said

“Thanks!” Josh said sincerely as he turned the old radio over and over in his hands, he couldn’t wait to get home and open it. 

“Did your aunt really say garbage?” he asked

North scoffed and rolled her eyes “No.”

That was the tentative state of their friendship when they noticed Simon. They both had been aware of him for a while, always watching them from the edge of the playground, but North was the one who mentioned him first.

“He just sits there, like a bunny rabbit” North said as she looked up from their game of catch

Josh couldn’t contain a snort “Sorry, a what?”

“You heard me” She threw the ball extra hard at him.

“Ouch! Could you not?!” Josh said, taking his burning hand out of the baseball glove, and then with another look at the other boy “Mom says he just arrived at Rose’s” he added

Rose Chapman was a social worker. She fostered the children nobody else wanted to deal with, the ones that lashed out or had developed off-putting coping mechanisms, the ones that had startling night terrors or those who were too old to easily find a forever home. Josh didn’t think Simon would be considered too old yet, and all Josh had noticed so far was that he was painfully shy.

“Wanna play with us?” Josh called out

Simon shook his head

“She’s not as bad as she looks!” Josh said pointing at North

“But he’s every bit as constipated!” North added

“North!”

“It’s the truth.”

Simon shook his head again and looked down at the grass like it was immensely interesting all of a sudden. North and Josh looked at each other, she shrugged and they resumed their game. 

One evening a few weeks later Josh had been walking back home when he was knocked down. He toppled on to the pavement, skinning his elbow as all air went out of him for a second. They had only been high school juniors looking to amuse themselves by pushing someone about for a bit, but they were drunk, and for a thirteen year old Josh they could as well have been full grown adults. Josh smelled their laughter before he heard it, and when he looked up he saw Simon a few feet away, looking right at him hesitant and frightened. Josh hoped he’d at least go get someone to help, Simon didn’t. 

Instead, Simon charged against one of the older kids, and pushed the other with a very clumsy kick, the polished version of which Josh had seen North perform many times. Simon’s valiant albeit inept efforts would have been completely useless if the teenagers’ sense of up and down hadn’t already been quite impaired, but as it was even a bunny rabbit could push them away. 

“Run, Josh!” Simon said as he hastily grabbed his hand and pulled him up.

So Simon was painfully shy, reluctantly brave and definitely not stupid. They ran. 

 

▪ ▪ ▪ ▪  
“Josh, can you hear me?” Lucy’s voice came to him like through a fog, it made sense since everything was so white and hazy and painfully bright. He remembered the shattering mirror, the icy country road.

“Is Simon OK?” He heard himself croak, his voice rough and weak

“Was Simon with you?”

“Yes.” A bruised breath “No.” the memory of someone on the road “I’m not sure” 

“OK, let us worry about that, you’ll be just fine” Lucy said as they wheeled him into the ER. 

Josh felt motion sick and disoriented, and all the white hurt his eyes so he closed them until the noise faded and he himself seemed to float away. After a while he could smell his dad’s dreadful aftershave and hear his mom’s bracelet, the one with the small clinking charms he had given her last Christmas, and he slept.

 

▪ ▪ ▪ ▪  
Hours later, the sun was shining over the snow, making it gleam like a glassed donut instead of the death trap it really was, Hank Anderson sensed there was an ex-wife joke in there but had no strength to find it. 8:00 a.m was too early for anything, he counted on the small town lethargy to stay in bed at least until 11. Moving to the middle of rural Michigan all those years back had been the right call. Everything moved like thick porridge giving him enough time to brood as he saw fit. The bigger disturbances were drunks – more often than not he was the drunk – and car accidents such as this.

“Take it away, Bill” he said, looking as they lifted the little Volkswagen beetle twisted into a metal mess. Hank had stopped calling things miracles a long time ago, but even he had to admit this came damn close to one. He liked Josh Pajne, a smart, responsible kid. When Hank had arrived in town he had promptly enlisted him to give Sumo his walks and baths, both activities far beyond what Hank could manage back then or some weeks even now. Hank couldn’t understand how Josh had gotten out of this with only a couple cracked ribs and a concussion but he was glad. His car would never make that comeback. 

“Anderson, we got something over here” Reed said looking more rancid than usual

Hank’s jaw tensed. There had been some confusion about Simon Palmer being with Josh at the time of the accident, and it was unclear if he had been located with many of the phone lines still down due to the snowfall.

“The Palmer boy?” he asked.

Reed shook his head “Nah, but you better come see” 

Whatever it was Hank was relieved. 

Cole would have been around 16 now, wouldn’t he? Driver tests and missed curfews, maybe a girlfriend, a spunky to a fault kid like North Wright, or maybe a boyfriend, an artsy one like Markus Manfred. Cole would always be 6, but Hank couldn’t help but have a soft spot for kids around his son’s age, the could have beens, and he was quite familiar with this particular quartet.

“I thought it was part of the car, debris everywhere but--” Reed gestured to what at first glance Hank thought was a broken, defaced mannequin.

“Goddammit” Hank said unimpressed. A dead body wasn’t in any way conductive to peaceful brooding.


	3. Chapter 3

Markus was woken up at 4:00 a.m. by the insistent ring of the house telephone. He sprinted out of bed, his heart already sinking with the weight of what could only be bad news-- or a wrong number, his brain tried to remind him. His reasonable brain was to be wrong.

He wouldn’t admit it to anyone because it was embarrassing and stupidly childish but since the previous month, after his dad and Leo moved back to Detroit, there had been a feeling in the pit of his stomach, like he was falling, a feeling closely resembling the one you get when there’s an unexpected call at 4:00 a.m.

He picked up dreading to hear Leo’s voice with bad news about their dad or even vice versa, his heart sank when he heard North’s. He could barely understand what she was saying through the static “Josh” “Ice” “Accident”. Worry from her was completely foreign and ominous like a bird crashing into your windshield.

He grabbed his coat and rushed to the garage, where Markus’ only option was Leo’s ostentatious black Porsche. His dad had promised him any car he wanted but not one day before his 18th birthday, since that’s when Leo had gotten his first car. Markus didn’t mind, Josh had restored his orange Volkswagen himself, and it had become their moving hideout. The little car was always littered with all their things much like the forts they used to build when they were younger. Markus hesitated for exactly one second before grabbing the Porsche’s key from the key holder next to the door. These were extenuating circumstances and his brother would never know.

When Carl had announced his decision to go back to Detroit, because there were programs, clinics and (he hoped it wouldn’t come to that) reputable rehab facilities for Leo, he had also presented the idea of early college for Markus with a proud smile and Markus had begged to be allowed to stay behind.

He wasn’t ready to leave yet. He had promised North he’d go to her next game, he needed to finish Simon’s birthday present, and he and Josh had a very important project that wasn’t done yet. Half sketched plans they needed to go over, involving next fall and Detroit and a four bedroom apartment. He simply couldn’t leave yet, he needed to stay to finish High School with his friends.

Carl being and artist and a collector could recognize a matching set when he saw one and had allowed it, not without the uncomfortable knowledge that this was the dreaded preferential treatment he was always anxious to avoid between his sons.

“Call if you need anything, and you only have to say one word and I’ll be right back” Markus’ dad told him as he hugged him goodbye

“I’m not a kid anymore, I can take care of myself” Markus answered with a confident smile but he kept his dad’s phone number close, even more so when Elijah Kamski moved in, as he did every winter, to what Markus thought of as next door.

Kamski’s holiday home was two miles away from their lake house. It was the only house near theirs, they shared a hiking trail, and knowing Kamski could manifest at any time of day in his back yard made Markus irritatingly apprehensive.

Elijah Kamski seemed exactly the type of person his dad disliked most, and they didn’t act like they were that close, but Elijah was not unwelcome in their home. Markus, seldom afraid of anything even as a little kid, had been wary of him. He’d stay close to Leo when Kamski visited, not only because at thirteen, his seventeen year old brother had been the scariest person Markus knew, but he felt he had to protect Leo too. From what he wasn’t sure, but it was imperative that he didn’t take his eyes off his older brother for as long as Kamski was circling over them. And Leo – who couldn’t stand him, who always teased him one inch away from plain bullying, who pushed him away at every opportunity and for whom things like tolerance or kindness didn’t come easily – would always allow him to stay by him for as long as Kamski was around. 

“Go away already. You are such a pest!” Leo would say irritably as soon as Elijah left, but not one second before.

A washed out wariness had stayed with Markus over the years, like the annoying sticky residue that remains after peeling an old sticker off your wall, and last winter when Chloe Riley had told Josh she intended to work as Kamski’s assistant over winter break he had wanted to warn her, feeling quite inadequate as he did so. He had nothing concrete to say but that he’d never liked him. Chloe had thought it gallant of him but she had taken the job, by now she had spent more hours with Kamski than Markus would ever care to and had nothing but praise to say about him, so maybe Kamski wasn’t that bad after all.

Then again, Markus always came back full circle, “There’s nothing better than seeing the common man’s struggle to freshen up one’s perspective” that was something Markus had heard Kamski say once, it put him in mind of a child cruelly toying with an ant farm, and so his sticky distrust remained.

Once Markus reached the hospital a nurse unceremoniously directed him to the waiting room, telling him Josh’s parents were with him, and nothing more. North would have to wait to get a bus in the morning, and she hadn’t been able to get through to Rose’s to talk to Simon, nor had Markus who had tried calling him from the hospital more times than he’d admit to.

He couldn’t sit right in the uncomfortable chair. He closed his coat over his grey pajamas, checking his pockets yet again for change he already knew wasn’t there to use in the bending machine or the phone again. His eyes felt heavy and unfocused in the bright light of the waiting room, he closed them for a second and next thing he knew North was shaking him awake.

“They say we can go in and see him now” She said.

▪    ▪   ▪   ▪

At about the same time Markus was for all intents and purposes not driving his brother’s Porsche towards the hospital, Simon was lost in the snow. He had been dreaming, and sometimes for Simon dreams could be really treacherous things, like black ice, invisible and more dangerous because of it.

When he woke up he saw blood dripping from his fingers making dark puddles in the snow, for a second he thought pieces of ice where piercing his hands, before he realized he could see himself in the mirror shards.

“He’s here!” He heard Luther’s voice calling out “It’s OK, Simon” Luther’s jacket fell over his shoulders.

“It’s OK, honey. You can let go of those now” He heard Rose’s voice say as she pried his hands open to take the mirror shards he was clutching “We better go to my place, It’s closer” Luther said as he helped him stand up from the bloody snow.

It wasn’t until noon when they returned home, exhausted and concerned, pins and needles still in his hands, that they saw the light of North’s message flashing in their answering machine.

▪    ▪   ▪   ▪

“I told you to drive safe!” North said, striding towards Josh’s bed

“North!” both boys said in unison

“Please, he’s in a hospital bed already!” Markus said

“It hurts to breathe!” Josh added

“I’m not going to hit you, I’m not an animal!” she said flopping down on the small couch next to Josh’s bed and lazily lounging one of her legs over the armrest “and there are too many witnesses here, I can wait until you are discharged”

“You scared me there for a second, Josh” Markus said reaching to squeeze Josh’s shoulder “How are you feeling?”

“In more pain than 1 minute ago, thank you.” Josh looked at North. She shrugged. “but they tell me I could be worlds worse so I’m not complaining, and you look fancy” Josh joked taking in Markus’ pajamas,

“I’ll dress down next time” Markus replied with a little laugh, but as Josh looked towards the door anxiety crept into his eyes.

“Isn’t Simon with you?”  Josh asked, Markus couldn’t blame him, he’d also want to see Simon if he was the one in a hospital bed; Simon was exactly the kind of person you wanted to spoil you if you were hurting.

“Could you get through to Rose’s?” Markus asked North remembering his own failed calls

“I left a message” North said simply “I’m not surprised if it takes him a while to arrive, everything is crazy out there, the snow is not helping and the town road is still closed”

“Because of my car?”

“Of course not, it’s because of the body they found. There’s police tape and everything” North dropped the news like she was just telling them about her math score, which if truth be told, made Markus feel better about it for a fraction of a second before he saw Josh’s expression

“Did I- did I run over anyone? I—“

“Josh, I’m sure is nothing like that” Markus started soothingly

“How sure are you?” Josh snapped “I keep asking and nobody will tell me anything, they just say to take it easy, and I just want them to answer-- Oh, Thank God.” Josh said as Simon entered the room.

“Hey, Josh!” Simon said, and Markus noticed the black circles under his eyes as he bent down to hug their friend

“No, not yet” Josh kept Simon locked in the hug for a few seconds longer, getting a little laugh out of him “are you OK?” Josh asked as he let go

“That’s my line! I’m not the one in the hospital” Simon said with a tired smile

“And” Josh paused for dramatic effect “she threatened me” he pointed at North, the fearful anxiety he’d had just a few moments before evaporating almost completely

“Not an empty threat either” North scoffed “Is the road open yet?”

Simon shook his head “Rose drove me here and it took us forever. Sheriff Anderson is still there, they are saying it was a murder” Simon said crossing his arms, and Markus frowned as he noticed he was wearing his fingerless gloves.

“I wonder who it was?” Josh said seriously, and even North went quiet, the four of them relieved they were all accounted for.

▪    ▪   ▪   ▪

That evening Hank sat at his desk going through the pages of the file. Rupert Weber had been his name, only 19 years old. He had been homeless, kept to himself. They had picked him up a few times so they had him on file, it hadn’t been hard to identify him although most people only knew him as the pigeon guy because of his ungodly obsession with the rats of the sky. Cause of death: blunt force trauma.

As he had waited for what passed as their forensic team, Hank had half-expected it to be an unfortunate accident, the cold, a pigeon transmitted disease, at worst a hit and run, but soon it was clear the condition of Rupert’s mutilated body was the result of something far more sinister than carrion birds or rats, sky ones or otherwise.  In Hank’s personal opinion, Rupert had been kept for at least a few days, tortured and then had managed to escape, only for their suspect to ultimately catch up with him. Josh’s accident must have driven him away, forced him to leave the body behind, unsure of how fast the first responders would arrive.

Hank was suddenly aware of the uncharacteristic chatter around him. You couldn’t keep things quiet for two minutes in this sort of place, a victimless car accident was harmless enough so nobody had bothered to shoo the bystanders away, that meant many of them had gotten front sits to the body in complete graphic detail. By nightfall everyone in town would know about it and wonder what exactly was Hank Anderson doing to protect them and their crops or whatever people had here.

“Connor!”

“Yes, Lieutenant” Connor said turning to look at him from his desk

Hank sighed “How many times do I have to tell you I’m not a Lieutenant anymore?”

Connor had arrived, with disconcerting encyclopedic knowledge of Hank’s career, to his literal doorstep a few months before; Hank, woken up by the incessant ring of his doorbell at 1:00 p.m, not a minute earlier, was still wearing his soiled night shirt, and even he was aware of his sour smell and whiskey breath as he opened the door.

“No solicitors” Hank said tapping the unmistakable white and red sign on the side of his dilapidated porch, this guy looked just like the type to show you the 1001 ways in which the new cyberlux rk800 was going to change your life.

“Oh, I’m not selling anything” the young man said

 “What the hell do you want then?”

“I’m Connor, the officer sent by the State Department. Captain Fowler said to report to you upon my transfer”

Jeffrey Fowler was just as much of an idiot as Hank remembered. Hank couldn’t see why someone like Connor would want to work in a small Sheriff’s office such as this, where you worked either because you had lived here your whole life and had nowhere else to go or because you had come from elsewhere and were trying to bury yourself alive, Hank was decidedly the latter.  

Hank didn’t appreciate people prying into his business so he left others alone, but it was obvious Connor was better suited for the shiny Detroit offices that dealt with real cases, not only the Sheriff getting drunk in the supermarket parking lot again. Reed was the one who used to pick him up in such instances, always escalating the situation; he still owed Gary a few bucks for the window they had broken. Now, they sent Connor, who always saw him home without incident and made sure Sumo had enough water in his bowl; well, he guessed he had a real case for him now.

“Take a look at this, tell me what you think” Hank said passing Rupert’s case file to him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

The year they turned fourteen just like North had the spark of ever present anger always threatening to burn her alive, Simon walked over sorrow like on thin ice, always anticipating the shock of the cold and of sinking down.

Simon was anxious about things he couldn’t control. Things that went bump in the night, more specifically, that the thing going bump in the night would be him. It had taken a few months for him to tell them, and when he did, sitting down in the snow with his back pressed against a tree, talking softly but fast like he had to get it done quickly before he thought better of it, North and Josh were mostly puzzled.

“You sleepwalk-“  Josh started

“That’s it?!” North interrupted him, incredulous. They had been prepared for something much bigger. Simon didn’t talk much, but he had said enough for them to know he had gone round the foster system like a hot potato, in and out of far too many foster and group homes until Rose had taken him in. North and Josh couldn’t understand why would that be, Simon was nothing if not well behaved, and so quiet many times people forgot he was there, and now that Simon was telling them part of it they weren’t less perplexed.

“Sometimes…” Simon continued with obvious difficulty but also quiet determination “Sometimes… I have night terrors, and I break things- mirrors, while I’m asleep”

“So what? I break all kinds of things when I’m awake” North answered

 “We have tried to explain to her a baseball bat is only meant to hit the ball” Josh said in mock annoyance “but she won’t listen”

“Why would I!” She replied and Josh smiled. There were worse things for North to do than to take her anger out at the junkyard, worse things most of which Josh had seen firsthand, he was only too glad North had found a comparatively harmless, if not quite safer, alternative.

Simon smiled at that too, and after a hesitant pause he added “there’s something else, but-“

But that’s when the ice would threaten to break from under him and he wouldn’t go farther than that.

His sorrow over the things that had happened before Rose was like the bottomless depths of a cold, dark well. He wouldn’t talk about them for fear of being pushed away, and finding himself alone and trapped, finally drowning in them, he’d only admit that they were there. North and Josh never pushed him for details and neither would Markus once their set was complete. 

 “Josh is staying over at my house next week, you should come too” North said

“There’s nothing in her room you can break that she hasn’t already broken” Josh added, to what North answered with a simple “He’s right”

“But won’t you be scared of me?” Simon said with a self-deprecating smile and a self-conscious shrug. The tone of his voice made them take a step back. Maybe his night terrors were that bad, maybe that really was the reason he hadn’t found a home until Rose, maybe this explained why Simon seemed to understand North’s crackling anger infinitely better than Josh did, like he had seen it all before and knew the exact protocol. North looked at Josh, being comforting wasn’t one of her strong points.

“Even if you do something scary we’ll be friends” Josh said sitting next to him “we are friends with North and she’s always cranky and terrible”

“I won’t let you beat my batting average” North made a snowball and threw it, hitting the tree just above their heads; it crumbled and fell in icy pieces all over them.

“See what I’m saying” Josh said in mock irritation dusting the snow off his shoulders

After a little pensive pause Simon said “I’ll ask Rose”

Rose didn’t need much convincing. She was elated at Simon making friends, if she had only known how that day was going to end… well, she’d still let him go, absolutely. But she still looked back at it with a sense of wonder and bewilderment, the way you look at a paranormal event, the serendipity of which only made itself more obvious with each year that passed by.

The night Simon slept over at North’s, North and Josh had been scared after all, but only for him.

They woke up in the early morning to a Simonless room. The floor was littered with the broken pieces of North’s mirror, which they didn’t hear break, and the front door stood open wide, a door which Lucy never forgot to lock and had checked twice that night, having been told how Simon tended to go out when he sleepwalked. They rushed to wake Lucy up, who in turn called Rose, who arrived in her van, having asked Kara and Luther to go find Hank Anderson, who luckily was sober enough to take his car and search for Simon too like he had done several times before.

If Sheriff Anderson found him before Rose did he’d always take him home, that day was different. Josh and North waited anxiously for Rose to come back from her own search, and when she did, empty handed, they got the Sheriff’s call.

“Sorry, Rose” he said “I have a little of a… situation here. It may be better for the kid if you pick him up yourself this once, let me give you the directions…” maybe the Sheriff hadn’t been that sober after all. North and Josh got in the van as Rose and Lucy did, without saying a word and hardly daring to breathe.

Rose drove out of town and into the woods by bumpy pathways all of which looked exactly alike, some were so overgrown the tree branches scratched at the car, making their trip feel more sinister and foreboding than it needed to be, and with increasing worry they noticed they were heading towards the lake, a lake that this late in winter would be starting to thaw.

“You two stay here” Lucy said using the calm, level tone even North found hard to overstep. The van stopped behind the Sheriff’s car and Lucy and Rose climbed out.

Josh and North looked out of the van window. Josh almost gasped, while North almost scoffed, but they were still trying to be very quiet and therefore only stared in silence until Rose and Lucy emerged a few minutes later with Simon, still looking slightly blank and lost, but all in one piece.

That’s when they got their first glimpse of Markus, standing at the doorway of what could as well be Camelot, next to his dad’s wheelchair, every bit a king and a prince from the knight stories Josh’s mom used to read to him.

When Simon was better they tried asking him about it. He didn’t remember much, but seemed completely fascinated by the two things he could recall

“His eyes were different colors, and they had a lake monster swimming in their living room” Simon told them, his voice hushed with wonder and awe. Josh and North let it go, thinking Simon must have been quite asleep during the whole ordeal, and maybe that was for the best.

Later, when they had almost forgotten the incident and the new school year started, the prince had landed (by some awkward mistake, no doubt) in their classroom. People from those mythical luxury homes didn’t send their children to get questionable lunches, and a subpar education at the local school. They sent them to boarding schools in Canada or Middle-Earth or maybe even New York but not to their school with peasants who used such things as coupons and the coin laundry. Josh and North exchanged a look wondering if the lake monster was real too.

Markus made a beeline for them, as if he knew them, and the three of them had been too star struck to protest. The three of them had also been almost curious to see the moment Markus would realize his mistake. Josh wouldn’t have cared; he was too even-tempered and grounded, too focused on his own projects to mind. Simon, haunted as he was, always had a calm, sensible way of dealing with things, while North reacted to them retaliating ten times over and feeling quite satisfied and pleased with herself once she did. They had remained somewhat skeptical of their new friend until the week of the lice, lice week if you will.

They had agreed to study at Rose’s over the weekend, but well before they could reach the door Simon had bounced out like a bashful whac-a-mole, anticipating to be hit with the mallet of their disgust.

“You can’t come in!” he shouted at them standing at the entrance of Rose’s house, wearing ugly, bright yellow rubber gloves that were too big for his hands and holding a few coverlets in his arms.

Simon often helped Rose with the little kids. He was desperately thankful to her for having him there, but he didn’t help out of gratitude or a sense of obligation, he did because he genuinely loved it, and Rose allowed and encouraged it, seeing how building safe harbors was what made Simon’s inner world clearer and calmer.

“Sorry, but…” Simon paused with an embarrassed look towards them “… we got lice”

Because lice was something that was bound to happen a few times when you had a bunch of little kids, and your chances increased exponentially having a small child like Ralph who got himself in all sort of places you’d rather not imagine and always materialized some rotting dead animal.

Markus kept walking towards the house “You are helping, right? I can help too.” He said taking the coverlets from Simon’s arms before he could object “I wanted to get a buzz cut anyway” Markus lied “it doesn’t matter if I get them” and he would.

Markus walked in, and in doing so their trio had decidedly become their quartet, their quartet plus a few extra dozens that first week. Luther shaved Markus’ head and Simon said “it’s fine, it- it really suits you“ to reassure him, looking at Markus for just a second before shyly lowering his head in Simon’s distinctive unassuming way. Markus still thought of that every time he considered changing it, the buzz cut always won out.

Completely ignorant of the shift taking place as Markus walked into what Traci was calling the lice palace, Simon had looked back at them in horror, and Josh could have sworn he could hear his exact thoughts. He was going to get lice on Markus Manfred, names are capitalized anyway but back then Simon thought of it with at least three underlines.

He wasn’t the only one, Markus was universally awe inspiring. The airy lightness in the way he walked, or the noble bearing in the way he carried himself only became more evident as Markus grew older. But by now his friends also knew he had a tendency to put too much pressure on himself, would try to carry the whole world on his shoulders if you let him, and could be incredibly dense and clueless at times. Josh liked that except for one instance, for a while Josh had been growing hopeful everything would turn out alright, that Simon wouldn’t get his heart broken after all, and then- nothing had happened. Josh and North agreed not to intervene, Josh reckoning they could only make it worse, North not having the patience to deal with “myopic turtledove crap”.

Josh was counting on Markus’ Knightly qualities now as he waited in his hospital bed. Sheriff Anderson had asked his parents if he could be questioned sooner than later about the accident and anything he could have seen. They knew the Sheriff himself would never visit a hospital; there had been a few incidents with local newspaper headlines. Josh, dreading the visit of Officer Reed had asked Markus to be his backup, but at the end they got Connor instead.

Connor, who usually introduced himself only by his first name, and had a kind of social awkwardness that made him seem a bit younger than his years. If they had sent Reed, Josh would have been treated like a criminal even when he was hardly a witness; Being questioned by Connor felt like talking to a friend from school, like Connor was a few questions away from losing interest and change the subject to their midterms.

“So, tell me about this hitchhiker again?” Connor said, starting to fidget with a coin in his hands

“There’s really nothing else to tell” Josh answered, propped up in his hospital bed in the way he felt less like his ribs were porcupines in an aerobics class, Markus was sitting right beside it, as Josh’s dad dozed off on the couch, having started to nod off around the fourth or fifth time Josh had described the accident for the young officer.

“I couldn’t really see him” Josh said “I was focused on getting home before the snow got worse”

“He was covering his face, you said?”

“He had a hoodie pulled over his face, but with the snow and the cold I didn’t think anything of it”

“So he looked normal enough for you to go back and pick him up?”

“Yeah, I was about to go back for him and that’s when-“ he faltered, that’s when his rear-view mirror shattered and he had seen Simon standing on the road “… that’s when I lost control and skidded on the ice”

Both Markus and Connor were looking at him, of course it was because he was the one talking, but he felt sure both of them knew he was lying, although calling it a lie was too much, he was merely omitting an unimportant part of the truth because it was illogical and thus irrelevant, the police didn’t need to hear a ghost story in the middle of a serious murder investigation.

Connor glanced at his notes and as if reading his mind he said “The medical staff told me you were concerned for Simon Palmer when you arrived at the ER, and there was some initial confusion as to his whereabouts, but he wasn’t in the car with you, is that right?”

Josh nodded “It’s not really important” he hesitated and looked at his dad still snoring placidly on the couch. He lowered his voice “I didn’t want to worry my parents, or drag Simon into this when it’s just—“ he tried to gesture with his hands, the porcupines bounced to electronic workout music “—nonsense” he said with a wince.

“Even small details can be important” Connor said “and I promise I will be discreet” he assured him

Josh exchanged a look with Markus wishing he could’ve discussed it with him first.

“Simon wasn’t with me in the car, but I saw him” Josh started

“You mean Simon was the hitchhiker?” Connor asked, and Josh felt the myopic turtledove sitting beside him tense.

“No, not at all” Josh corrected him “just as I was about to turn back for the hitchhiker I realized Simon was there, standing right in the middle of the road. I was sure I hit him” Josh shook his head “I am sure I did, I went right through him”

“That’s why you lost control of the car?” Markus said

“And that’s why you asked if he was OK when you got to the ER?” Connor added

Josh nodded “I tried to avoid him, but there was no way, he was too close. I know it doesn’t make sense but he just… appeared, as if he was made out of smoke” Josh said with a little baffled shrug

“So he wasn’t really there?” Connor asked slowly, trying to make sense of what Josh meant

“I don’t think he was. I don’t think anyone was. If that had really been a person, I would have killed them, at least hurt them pretty badly” Josh sighed “It must have been my imagination, maybe I remember it wrong, maybe it was some sort of mirage because of the snow…” he said trying to find a logical explanation, he exchanged another look with Markus.

“Will you have to question Simon about it?” Josh asked

Telling one of your best friends you had seen him before your accident as if he were the Angel of Death was bad enough, but he had noticed Simon was wearing his fingerless gloves and knew what that meant. Josh didn’t want to put any more stress on him than absolutely necessary.

“I only need to confirm his whereabouts at the time of the accident. I would have done so anyway” Connor said  “So, could you describe what the hitchhiker was wearing again?”

▪   ▪   ▪   ▪

Simon and North sat on her bed, waiting for Lucy to be ready to drive them to the hospital. Markus had skipped that day to be with Josh as he was questioned. North and Simon had wanted to be there too, to what Lucy had replied with a rotund negative. Having Gavin Reed and North in the same room seemed unwise on principle. Josh would have one of his parents with him of course, since he was still underage, but Markus was already an extra she doubted Reed would allow. Simon and North would only make things more crowded and complicated.

They were sent to school, as any other day. Everyone had a theory about what had happened to the pigeon guy, a drug deal gone wrong, a gambling debt, when those who had actually been there arrived with grislier, juicier, true accounts of the state of the body, the theories had immediately escalated to serial killers and satanic rituals, even aliens starting on human mutilation having finally gotten bored of the cows

“That can’t be true!” someone said

“I saw it! He had a perfectly circular hole right here” someone replied pointing right to their solar plexus “If you don’t believe me you can ask Chloe. You saw it too, right Chloe?”

Chloe usually so poised and put together only looked startled and confused by the question; she nodded vaguely before excusing herself. Later in the day North ran into her in the girls’ bathrooms, still looking a bit dazed, fixing her eye make-up as if she had been crying.

North was about to leave her to it, but instead she almost rolled her eyes at herself in the mirror, and asked “Are you OK?”

North and Chloe weren’t friends, not even close, they were… amicable, that was a better word for it. Their personalities and interests were so different they didn’t have many opportunities to get to know each other, but if North needed a pen Chloe always had one, if Chloe was having trouble opening a water bottle it was North she asked for help, and North would open those water bottles without even scoffing at her. 

“Yes, thank you, I’m just being silly” Chloe said with a little smile, North was about to leave for the second time when Chloe added “North- actually, could you help me with something?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Breaking and entering” Chloe said, fidgeting with the dirty make-up wipe she still had in her hands

“Sure. What are we breaking and entering into?” North asked not missing a beat but expecting it to be some sort of joke.

“The station building near the lake…” Chloe said, apparently not joking at all.

North knew it well, it was a small two-story building that had been meant as a train station long time ago but the railroad plan had been changed and the building had been left to stand there useless and neglected.

“If you can… maybe, we could meet in the front lawn before school tomorrow?” 

“No problem, around 8?” North replied, a small exploring adventure seemed harmless enough, not that Chloe would ever do something that could stain her perfect record.

“Perfect! Thank you!” Chloe answered, with a little excited jump “And hey, want this eyeshadow?” Chloe added regaining a bit of her usual PR peppiness “My mom bought it for me but I have this color already” she nudged a little pot over the bathroom counter. North wouldn’t ever wear that shade but she gave Chloe a little smile and thanked her. As generally irritated by everyone as North always was she was far less irritated by pretty girls, especially pretty girls that asked for her help to commit minor misdemeanors.

She smiled now actually looking forward to getting to school the next morning, then she looked at Simon, sitting on her bed, looking gloomy, his resemblance to a trampled bunny rabbit sharper than usual.

“I hadn’t seen these in a while” she started, hoping to distract him “your dorky sleeve-glove things” she squeezed his hand and he flinched

“Oh. Sorry, I didn’t think” She said letting go

“The dorky gloves do serve a purpose, sometimes” Simon pulled them down a bit further down his fingers

“Again?” North couldn’t remember the last time Simon had sleepwalked, sometime around 10th grade, maybe.

“Don’t tell Josh or Markus. They are dealing with enough.”

North rolled her eyes “is not like they won’t notice” though she had her doubts, Markus was demonstrating to be absurdly dense “Did you tell Rose?”

“She and Luther found me the night of Josh’s accident. It was… bad, like it was before. I hurt my hands pretty badly, I don’t know how that alone doesn’t wake me up when it happens” Simon said looking at his hands “Your aunt said it may be stress-”

“Gee, I wonder what could be stressing you out. We have a true unsolved mystery here” she cut him off sharply

“North, it isn’t that-”

“Isn’t it?” she cut him off again “It’s so annoying to see the way you look at him, I swear I can almost hear your thoughts ‘he’s the moon and I’m but a mere worm crawling in rotting garbage’” North said in a high pitched, cartoonish voice “most pathetic thing I have ever seen, and I have seen Josh throw a baseball, let that sink in”

“I don’t think like that…” Simon said dejectedly

“Don’t you?” She was sure he, in fact, did. “He wouldn’t see you differently if you tell him how you feel” She nudged his knee with her foot

“But everything would be different wouldn’t it? How would that fix anything? It would only make everything awkward, and I would lose him even as a friend” he shook his head “I can’t risk that”

“Ugh! Spare me” North said flopping back on her bed “You are such a defeatist, I can’t stand it!”

“I’m only honest with myself” Simon said seriously “I’m not good enough for him. I’m boring and I’m not that smart, I never know what to talk about, and only understand half of the things Markus says about music or composers or art exhibitions.”

“Nobody understands! I tune out most of it. You only feel that way because you are actually listening to him when he prattles on about it”

Simon ignored her perfectly sound argument and continued, she imagined the cartoonish worm voice in her head “I would embarrass him, especially now he’s about to go to that fancy school. He needs someone more like-  like you”

“Are you feeling well” she sat up and placed her hand on his forehead “because if you need it, my bathroom is right there. Please, don’t drop all this verbal diarrhea in my room, have some decency”

“It’s only the truth. You are just as striking as he is, you are assertive and confident and-”

“Go on, I’m suddenly enjoying this conversation immensely”

“I mean all of it” Simon said sincerely “You two would be a good match”

“True” North said, rummaging in her school bag for that dreadful blue eyeshadow Chloe had given her “For about 5 minutes, we wouldn’t be able to stand each other for more than that” She had known this since they were fourteen, when they discussed their plans for the impending Zombie Apocalypse. Markus had made a complete plan for a sustainable agriculture based military society, engaging Josh in a two hour conversation about the exact logistics of it, that’s the word they had used “logistics”, filling Simon with awe and her with smoky boredom. If the world ended she’d want nothing more than to help set it on fire. Let the world die with a bang and a blaze and good riddance

“And do you really think I wouldn’t embarrass him?” She continued “That I would miss that once in a lifetime opportunity? Do you think I wouldn’t go to his fancy school and fight a mineral infused water fountain? If so you are gravely mistaken” She grabbed a fluffy make-up brush from the mug on her bedside table, absently swirling it in the cobalt blue eyeshadow “So what if you are boring, or not as book smart as Josh or Markus are. That’s not all there is. So shut up already or I’ll have to kick your ass.”

Simon looked down but smiled, that was an improvement.

“You won’t tell him anything, will you?” he asked

“Certainly not” she huffed “You can keep pining for the moon little maggot, that’s entirely your business to do with as you wish” She stressed the last words with a stroke of her brush, dusting the blue powder on his face

“What are you doing” he laughed

“Giving you a becoming…” she turned the eyeshadow pot upside-down to read its name “blueblood blush to match your maggoty complexion”

“North—“ He started as she kept blending the blue into his face, in a tone that told her this was important and difficult, but he seemed to think better of it and retreated into silence again, as he had done many times before. She didn’t push, when people pushed her she only wanted to tear their tongues out. You talked when you were ready for it and not before, no matter how much other people wanted to rip words out of you.

When he spoke again, his tone was back to normal “North, is this going to wash off?”

Not easily, was the answer. When he got home that night he noticed his face was still faintly stained blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Thank you so much for reading and for your kind comments!  
> The next chapter will be Simon’s pov, thus we spiral down into Markus/Simon hell!


	5. Chapter 5

Simon lay on his bed waiting for the dark to fade into blue-grey morning light. This was his favorite time of day, when it was easy to imagine you were completely outside of time, without a bothersome past, or an uncertain future, only the dim blue present. He raised his hands and looked at the angry red gashes running across them, they were deeper than usual and would take longer to heal. Kara had given him a few stitches, although he hardly remembered that. He hadn’t really slept since that night, afraid of closing his eyes only to wake up in the snow again, a mirror shard cutting into the palm of his hands, just like it had happened so many times when he was younger. He had hoped he was past it, and was sorely disappointed.

He got up yawning and passing his hand through his hair, his eyelids felt heavy and there was a sleepless cottony feeling in his head. He could try to catch a few catnaps through the day, but he knew it would be useless. He couldn’t sleep unless he felt safe, and right now he didn’t feel safe anywhere. How could he when the problem was inside him.

He showered and dressed choosing one of his shirts with the added sleeve-gloves. It was Kara’s idea to modify them, so he could be more comfortable at school, not drawing unwanted attention to his wounds or even his fading scars. To his immense relief, Kara had kept making them for him as he outgrew the old ones; he still found difficult to ask for anything he needed, and tried to be as unobtrusive as possible. All he had wanted when he was little was to be invisible, and he still wished he had that superpower, but since finding Josh, North and Markus it was harder for him to want to hide and retreat, they were a team, they were his family– But then again they didn’t know the whole truth, did they? Said a pesky voice in his head, possibly his conscience, he tried to ignore it.

That first night he had slept over at North’s still troubled him slightly more than any of the others. He had never walked so far away before– or after. He’d never done so many things that really seemed to defy what was physically possible.

Neither Josh nor North were heavy sleepers, North in particular would be wide awake after the slightest noise, and Lucy seemed to be able to see through walls and right into your soul. Even so, that night it had been like he had walked through air, as if he were nothing more than winter fog.    

He must have broken North’s vanity mirror, he must have unlocked their front door. He must have walked a few miles on the highway until he reached the woods. Then he must, somehow, have walked across the lake where the ice was melting away, he had done all these things he didn’t remember and that scared him, but he couldn’t wish they never happened, if it weren’t for them they might not have met Markus.

When he finally woke up all he could see was white, as if still in a dream. He didn’t know where he was, when he walked away from Rose’s he could always recognize his surroundings, even if vaguely, here he couldn’t see any houses or a road, only snow and the stark silhouettes of the trees in the ghostly early morning light. He sat there shivering and hazily trying to decide if he should walk not knowing if that would only stray him farther away into nothing, when a car drove down the nearby path, sleek and unlike anything Simon had seen before, approaching slowly as it negotiated the narrow pathway. Simon, too out of it and cold to be afraid or surprised, didn’t even move as a teenager climbed out of the back and approached the side of the trail where Simon was.

“It isn’t a fawn!” the teenager called back to the car “it’s a little kid!”

A boy around Simon’s age got down from it then and peered at him curiously from behind his older brother, and even then Simon had noticed his eyes.

“I’m going to put this on you” Leo said, showing him a blanket

“Don’t be afraid” Markus said although if he was talking to him or his brother Simon wasn’t sure and Leo muttered “Don’t freak out–”

Leo got closer to him, in the same halting, impersonal way he’d use if Simon was an unpleasant wounded animal that needed to be moved out of the way. The boys put him in the back of the car between them, and even with the three of them there was plenty of space. They turned the heat on for him even though the boys, their father and – most incredible of all – their chauffeur, were clearly uncomfortable because unlike him they were dressed for the weather, expensive looking wool jackets, cashmere sweaters, thermal shirts and all.

They took him to their house, and Simon had sleepily wondered if he hadn’t woken up after all. Everything was high ceilings of warm, dark wood and dark shades of blues and greens, whimsical trinkets wherever you looked and tall bookcases not even Luther would have reached the top of. Glass sculptures that looked like colored ink twirling in water projecting colors on the walls, floor to ceiling windows looking out into the icy lake that were so clear Simon had  wondered why the snowfall wasn’t fluttering in since there weren’t any walls, and a sparkling mirror wall that had startled him, because his reflection always did. He saw it wince at him as he felt a stab of pain in his hand.

“Son, could you give me that, please?” Mr. Manfred said very kindly, and Simon finally let go of the mirror shard in his hand “Thank you. Markus, would you bring us some towels?”

Simon was shown into the living room as Mr. Manfred called the Sheriff’s office. He sat right under the lake monster that swam over his head, among all the blues and greens it felt as if he were at the bottom of a shadowy lake. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling, his first instinct when he felt unsafe was that of hiding somewhere he couldn’t be found, nowhere more fitting for that than the depths of a blue-green lake.

Simon was sorry he didn’t remember that day better, most of it he could only look at as if through frosted glass. The only thing he really noticed about Markus that day were his eyes, even though he had known it would be rude he’d wanted to ask why were they different colors? Why did his eyes match the colors of the walls?

Through the frosted glass he could see Mr. Anderson arriving and there being some disagreement. To this day he didn’t know why the Sheriff hadn’t taken him home as he had done so many times before. To this day he was afraid to ask, afraid to find out that even Hank Anderson, ex-Detroit Police, had seen something so sinister in him that day he hadn’t wanted to be alone with him. So Simon had sat, gripping their fancy, fluffy towels in his bloody hands, breathing in the cool light at the bottom of the lake, until Rose and Lucy arrived to take him home.

Rose’s did feel like home, he couldn’t believe his luck after everything that had happened. When he saw Kara and Luther, they made him think that despite everything he could get there too. That he could build something beautiful with someone who loved him and to whom he could give his heart to. Just when that person had taken the form of Markus he didn’t know, but it probably had started with Markus staying over to help with the little kids and the lice. Simon smiled to himself, that day he had been absolutely mortified, but that’s when Markus stopped being an intimidating outsider and started to become someone Simon held dear. Their Markus, who was always caring and warmhearted and without even realizing did everything with a sort of happy weightless grace, even when it came to the most mundane, everyday things like going to the arcade. 

Going to the arcade with Markus was one of the things Simon looked forward to the most every week. Neither of them was interested in videogames, they only needed something to kill time on Mondays while they waited for North’s track practice and Josh’s AP calculus class to end. They randomly picked the first machine they saw, [bubble bobble](https://youtu.be/iE21Y3uCgyg?t=10s), Markus was green and Simon was blue, and Simon would be the first one to admit it was stupid, but that those were the colors of the game avatars, the ones he couldn’t but associate with Markus, made it seem like it was meant for them.

The little blue and green dragons would go around the screen shooting bubbles, and Markus would chuckle, or bump lightly against his shoulder when Simon stole points or power-ups from him, and sometimes he’d even laugh –Those were rare, not because Markus was unhappy quite the opposite, but he was reserved, that same reserve was what made Simon’s introverted nature feel perfectly at ease– ‘No one else gets to see him exactly like this’ Simon thought as he collected those airy laughs like pieces of sea glass.  

Simon really, really did like the arcade.

Over the years he had allowed himself the most absurd daydreams, like the pixel bubbles in the game, they floated in the depths of his thoughts, bright, and lovely in shades of cobalt blue and bottle green. Simon wanted to make Markus laugh, make him feel safe and at home the way Markus always made him feel. Simon longed to touch him, to be able to casually run his thumb over the freckles on his face that looked as if someone had playfully spritzed him with watercolor paint, he wanted-

but it didn’t take much to burst his foolish bubbles. Markus Manfred deserved someone astonishingly clever and breathtakingly beautiful, and more importantly, someone without secrets that could tarnish his stars.

The night terrors or sleepwalking weren’t the problem; it was what had happened before, the reason why they had started in the first place, or so said his doctors and Rose, although many people had made clear to him they had other theories about the real source. He had been on the brink of telling his friends so many times, but where would he be if he lost them? He loved them, but part of his secret was as dear to him as any of his friends, although not the part that kept him awake on moonless nights filling his soul with uncertainty and kept him wondering what, how and why.

He couldn’t tell them only one fourth of it, an incomplete truth seemed even more dishonest than complete silence. That silence was a disloyalty over which he felt endless amounts of guilt; he endeavored to fix this by trying really hard not to think about the past, therefore it was always on his mind. That probably ranked pretty high on sources of stress, probably much higher than thinking of the boy you yearned to kiss but wouldn’t.

Simon went out of his room with a sigh, and being disloyal again tried to forget all about it, as always, unsuccessfully. He walked into the room across from his, as soon as he opened the curtains the bundle on the bed spoke

“Ralph wants 5 more minutes!”

“Ralph can have 5 more minutes” Simon said placing Ralph’s school clothes on his bed “but no more OK? Kara will be here to pick you guys up any minute”

“Ralph knows!” Ralph said, pulling the covers over his head

Simon walked to his next stop down the hall “Are you ready?” he said knocking on Jerry’s door

“We are!!... Almost!!” Jerry said, Simon decided to leave him to it, Jerry could be chaotic but he was always on time, and once he was ready he’d go jump on Ralph’s bed until he had no choice but to leave it, it worked every morning.

“Simon?” Traci’s said opening her door

“Yeah?”

“Could you help me dye my hair over the weekend? I want to surprise T on monday”

“I will at least try” Simon said with a smile “what color is it going to be?”

“Blue!” Traci said throwing the dye tube to him, he didn’t catch it

“Cool!” Simon said retrieving it from the floor and giving it back to her “I’ll ask North to help us so nothing terrible happens” North had been dyeing her hair copper red for almost a year, as far as Simon could see, without any disastrous outcomes.

“I can’t wait!” Traci said excitedly “Tell Kara I’ll be down in a minute?” She returned to her room as Simon continued on his way downstairs.

“Simon! Help me with my ponytail?” Alice asked him as soon as he walked into the kitchen where Rose was preparing breakfast and Kara was warming her hands with a cup of coffee

“She said your ponytails are way bouncier than ours” Kara said with a fond smile

“Because they are” Alice answered primly sitting at the kitchen table  

“I hope I have the same luck with hair dye” Simon said “Traci will be down in a minute not completely sure about the boys”

“Do you need a ride to school?” Kara asked him “I don’t mind taking a detour after dropping the kids off, I have plenty of time before my shift at the hospital”

Simon shook his head as he adjusted the elastic around Alice’s ponytail “Thank you, but Markus is coming for me” he couldn’t help but smile at the way that sounded, even if it wasn’t special. Markus was only picking them up like Josh usually did.

“I thought only Josh had a car” Kara said, pretending she didn’t notice

“He’s driving his brother’s ”

“Oh, my!”

“Right!”

“And not a minute late I see” Rose said pointing towards the window, Leo’s terrible car parking at the front of the house

“See you!” Simon said immediately rushing out

“Have fun!” Rose and Kara said, and Alice waved as he ran out and collided right into Hank Anderson.

“Sorry!” Simon said with a shy nod “Mr. Anderson is here too!” He called towards the inside of the house.

 

 

▪    ▪   ▪   ▪

“Morning!” The Palmer boy said with another little nod before practically flying towards the car parked at the front of the house.

“Don’t get in trouble” Hank called out to North Wright who was sitting in the passenger sit of a car which price tag was probably at least three times that of his house. Markus Manfred speeding away as soon as their friend was safely inside to prevent North’s reply from being heard or seen by the police force, no doubt.

Hank was about to make some comment about it to Connor when he noticed his face. Connor was still staring thoughtfully at the space where the car had been. He was about to ask what the problem was when Rose greeted them at the door.

“Morning” Rose said cheerfully “Would you like to come in”

“It’ll only take a minute, Rose.” Hank wasn’t exactly a fan of the boisterous atmosphere of Rose’s house, particularly in the early hours “We only wanted to double check with you that your boy Simon was here the day of the accident? Routine”

“Of course, whatever you need. Simon wasn’t feeling well that evening, I think he went to bed around 6:30”

And the accident had been a little after 7. The boy had an alibi, not that he needed one, was accounted for and in perfect health, fleeing towards cars with future FBI wanted list criminals in them, and he didn’t just mean the Wright girl either. Hank wondered what had made him accept Connor’s idea of coming and asking again even though they already knew the answer, he was about to wrap it up when Connor spoke

“Would you know if he stayed in the whole night? Some kids say they are going to bed early as a ruse to sneak out”

Rose expression grew serious “I checked on him a little after 7 and he was fast asleep. Then again at 10 when I went to bed, but when I woke up around 4 the bathroom mirror was broken, so I called Luther and Kara to help me find Simon” she said with a little nod at them, like she was describing a perfectly expected course of events

Hank was about to turn to Connor to explain, after all, Simon had stopped sleepwalking well before he arrived in town, but before he could Connor said “He’s sleepwalking again?” With a worried little frown

Rose nodded “His doctor said stress may trigger it, probably senior year and Markus and Josh going away next fall. I still don’t understand how he manages to unlock the doors; his keys are always left behind. I used to hide them at night when he was younger, and he’d still manage to unlock it, we just can’t keep him in when it happens, and he’s always so quiet too. I have never heard even one of those mirrors break”

“Did you find him anywhere near the highway?” Connor asked

Rose shook her head “Luther found him in the field behind the house around 4:30, we were lucky he didn’t walk farther away, now there’s not only the weather or speeding cars to worry about, with what happened to Rupert–”

“Rupert? Rupert Weber? You knew him?” Connor interrupted her perking up, Hank had been trying so hard to stop comparing the young man to a dog but Connor didn’t make it easy. He pictured a german shepherd pointy ears and waging tail ‘Throw the ball! Throw the ball!’ But if Connor was a spirited german shepherd, Hank was an old, tired mutt so it was just as well.

“He wasn’t one of mine, but I try to help if I can.” Rose confirmed “I took him a few supplies twice every month”

“To anywhere in particular?” Hank asked, maybe they would get something from this, maybe Connor’s instincts were on to something after all.

“I always met him at the park, he went there every day to feed the pigeons”

Connor deflated, their trail coming to an abrupt end before it even started

“Sorry, that’s not very helpful, is it?” Rose said with sympathy, then thought for a second “I tried to convince him to stay here at least during the winter but he said he’d be fine squatting in the old station building by the lake. I don’t know if he really used it or it was something he said so I would stop asking”

Now that was something they could work with

“Thank you a lot, Rose. We have taken enough of your time” Hank said turning away, then he hesitated and went back to her “If you need help with any of your kids, Simon having another bad night, Ralph running into the sewers again, anything. You know you can call me day or night. Dry law” He said with a little nod “until things get back to normal”

“I really appreciate that, Hank.”

“Maybe you could put a bell on him” Connor said suddenly

“Connor…” Hank warned

“On Simon, I mean” Connor said in answer to Rose’s mystified look “so you hear him when he gets up at night”

Rose laughed “I’ll ask the teenage boy what he thinks about it.” She said amused “Take care you two” she smiled as she closed the door.

When they returned to the car Hank was debating if he should say something or follow his don’t pry and hopefully you won’t be pried on policy but Connor beat him to it again saying  “Dry law?” with a little annoying smile “That’s nice of you, Lieutenant”

Hank only scoffed as he started the car, not even bothering to remind Connor he wasn’t a Lieutenant anymore opting for the devil he knew, else Connor could get it into his head to call him Mr. Anderson and where would they be then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

“That’s not OK, North!” Markus said, as they arrived at the school parking lot.

“It would be the only way. A peaceful protest would never work on anyone, you’d get slaughtered!” North rebuked as they went round and round as per usual in one of their hypothetical scenarios “An eye for an eye!”

“An eye for an eye and the world goes blind, that’s something my dad says and I agree with him”

“Both of you are too naive, isn’t that right, Simon?” She said calling for backup she knew she wasn’t going to get, but Simon didn’t even answer to agree with Markus’ pacifist nonsense, he had fallen asleep in the backseat.

“See, your arguments are so riveting” North said

“Simon” Markus said softly “We are here” he reached out to touch Simon’s knee, and the gesture held such familiarity and tenderness North could have gagged.

“Simon wants five more minutes…” Simon said curling up, Markus smiled fondly; North’s patience was running dangerously low.

“Seriously, Markus.” She said drily, only getting a blank look from him. No wonder the maggot was going haywire “You two should skip today” North said, answering to Markus' reproaching look by adding “Look at him, he’s practically sleepwalking as we speak” North turned to look at Simon in the backseat “Did you sleep at all last night, or the night before that?”

“No– but it's fine, I only need to rest my eyes for a second” Simon said unconvincingly. North turned to Markus with a smug I-told-you-so look and Markus took her suggestion as she knew he would.

“We can go to my house” Markus said after thinking for a moment, starting the car up again

“Great, but I’m staying” North said opening the car door

“Who are you?” Markus teased amused

“Watching Simon sleep is not everyone’s idea of entertainment, Markus”

“Where are you going?” Simon asked

“To school”

“Liar, where are you going?” he repeated with irritating insight into her plans even when he was nearly passing out. North felt sure he was going to be a soccer mom by the time he was twenty, he was half-way there already with the way the swarm of children at Rose’s always clung to him.

“I’m going to the old lake station with Chloe, mom!”

“That’s only about a mile from my house” Markus said, not even bothering trying to convince her to actually go to school, knowing better than to do so when he was skipping too “you can come with us and then hike the rest”

North considered it realizing she didn’t have enough patience left “We’ll hike back to your house so we can go see Josh in the evening, how’s that? Around 3?”

“It’s a plan” Markus said, making a fist with his hand and bumping it against North’s

“Have a good day, sweetie!” Simon said drowsily from the back, as Markus called out “Don’t get in too much trouble!” echoing Sheriff Anderson’s words to which North answered with the same hand gesture she had graced the Sheriff with. Hank Anderson being a metal fan would have understood it, Markus did not.

 

▪   ▪   ▪   ▪

Markus drove through the snowy country roads and into the pathways that led to his house, frequently checking on Simon through his rear-view mirror which inevitably reminded him of Josh’s story. Josh’s sober judgment was ready to dismiss it as a trick of the light, or his panicked brain playing connect the dots, choosing Simon because he had seen his jacket as he lost control of his car. Markus wasn’t so sure. When they changed the subject to school to aim for some normalcy, Josh told him something that troubled him considerably more than an alleged phantom on the road.

“I heard John is going to ask Simon out” Josh said apropos of nothing

“When was this? Where was I?” Markus asked lighting fast and with uncharacteristic interest in school gossip “Who told you?”

“I heard John tell someone else” Josh said holding back a smile “He is in my calculus class, remember? You were at the arcade. John is a really good guy I wonder if Simon is going to say yes. What do you think?” Josh added nonchalantly sipping his awful hospital issued water, feeling it could hurt no one if he shook a few branches from under an overly placid turtledove.

Markus didn’t know what to think about that either.

He parked the car at the front of the house, as they got down from it the snowfall fluttered and twirled lightly around them like feathers getting caught on Simon’s messy sleep-tousled hair, and Markus indulged in the thought, as he did often, of Simon being made out of living snow and starlight, or maybe opal with an iridescent blue-yellow fire at its core.

He tried to imagine what it would be like if Simon started dating someone. Simon would love so deeply and give away every part of himself so completely. He tried to picture what it would be like to see someone walking around with Simon’s heart in their pocket to do with as they pleased, seeing Simon walking up to them, adoringly tilting his head to be kissed– Markus couldn’t go any farther than that without being overtaken by a feeling he would’ve called vertigo but anyone else would’ve recognized as jealousy.

“Shouldn’t you be at school?” a voice spoke then as if disembodied from the near hiking trail, or maybe it only felt like that to Markus because he had been too distracted.

“Joy-riding in cars that don’t belong to you. Skipping school and having people over instead. Quite like your brother, aren’t you?” Kamski said lazily, talking to him but looking at Simon as he did so “Carl would be quite disappointed on you” he said finally glancing at Markus and speaking as if he were bored of the conversation he himself had begun

“Yes, perhaps so” Markus answered coldly “Let’s go, Simon”

To what Elijah only replied with a dismissive smirk before continuing on his walk.

“That was Kamski?” Simon asked, Markus nodded as he let him in into the house

“I can’t see why you’d dislike him, he seems charming” Simon said without a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Markus turned to look at him so fast he almost felt his neck pop, only to see a little amused smile on Simon’s face

“Don’t scare me like that!” Markus said playfully bumping his shoulder against Simon’s “Let’s get you to sleep, obviously sleep deprivation makes you evil”

They walked through the hall, Markus loved to see how Simon seemed amazed by everything as if he were looking at it for the first time.

Having his friends over was very rare. It wasn’t only that the lake house was far away from the town, despite Markus’ multiple assurances that they could make themselves completely at home, his friends never quite managed to do so. North had told him it was like being in a museum, and he guessed in a nearly Pavlovian response they felt they must be quiet, contained and not touch anything let’s they set off an alarm.

Josh would pick one chair and fidget for the duration of the visit, Simon had to be told he could sit and once he did he wouldn’t move, and North would go out within the first two minutes to perch outside on the veranda not only because she hated the stuffiness of museums, but because Simon and Josh’s stiffness made her feel irritated and aggressive. She had almost picked a fight with Leo once, for 25 full minutes Leo tried to disengage North, like a cat trying to get his head out of a paper bag.

Markus showed Simon to the living room. He would have offered him his own room or any of the guest rooms but he knew Simon would only feel awkward about it and stay awake.

“You can lie down on the couch, I’ll bring you a blanket” Markus said. When he came back with it Simon was looking up at the dolphin skeleton just like the first time he had been in the house.

That first day Markus saw nothing more than a shadow in the frost, and thinking it was a fawn he asked his dad to stop.

“Another time, Markus” his dad said kindly, but unwilling to delay themselves any longer. It had been a long trip and his dad and Leo were in the middle of an ugly fight about what had or had not been found in Leo’s locker at school “It will be alright. It’s early for fawns but his mother must be near, you needn’t worry”

Markus let it go obediently even if he was disappointed when Leo spoke “I’m getting down to see” his brother said opening the door of the moving car before their dad could say anything, effectively forcing the chauffeur to stop. When Leo called back saying it was a kid, Markus leaped out too and saw Simon huddled in the snow, almost as if he were made out of it. Markus told him not to be afraid, but in truth Simon didn’t look frightened, there was a strange, still sadness to him that Markus didn’t know how to interpret at the time but as fear, and now he recognized as loneliness.

By the time they got Simon inside the car Markus had decided he had to be a changeling, and it was something Markus still caught himself thinking at times just like this. Simon had to come from a land of ice spells and will-o’-wisps. The way he moved alone gave him away, remote and timid but incredibly sweet, or the telltale cadence of his voice, that always sounded slightly breathless, especially when saying that last S in Markus’ name.

Markus made things really difficult for Simon that first day. Everything had been alright until Sheriff Anderson arrived to pick him up. Markus, who had only seen the clean cut police officers around Detroit had serious doubts about the Sheriff’s credentials and wouldn’t let him anywhere near Simon, at a time when what Simon needed the most was seeing a familiar face. The face of someone who had often helped him in those situations, instead of strangers in an intimidating, unfamiliar place.

“You can’t take him!” Markus shouted, standing in front of the Sheriff and blocking him from walking any further

“Markus!” his dad admonished, and even Leo was startled at hearing Markus’ name in that warning tone tinged with slight disappointment only he got out of their easygoing dad. Markus didn’t seem to mind, however.

“No! Look at him, dad!” Markus said, if anything louder than before “He can’t be a real policeman”

“What would you know about what real policemen look like” Leo scoffed with all the force of teenage disdain, and to be fair, quite a bit of experience on what real policemen looked like.

“They don’t look like this!” Markus insisted

His dad was about to say something else when Hank Anderson laughed as he caught his reflection on the mirror wall. He was wearing the same dirty shirt he had slept in which he hadn’t even buttoned right, his jacket had grease stains on the sleeves, and he hadn’t as much as washed his face in about three days. His laugh was big and raucous and Markus found it threatening at the time, positively villainous, but now realized it had only been tired and kind.

“Tell you what” Sheriff Anderson said, and Markus wondered if he was ready to make a deal for his soul, promptly deciding he’d at least try “I’ll call his foster mother to come pick him up, will that be good enough for you?” Hank said deciding on his part it would be better for everyone involved if he could avoid any further commotion with the young Manfred boy, who looked as if he’d really fight him in earnest if he tried to take Simon away.   

“Maybe…” Markus said trying to glare and not being completely unsuccessful

When Rose and Lucy arrived, Markus couldn’t possibly find fault with them or the ashy worry in their faces, and said nothing more. They took Simon to Rose’s van, where two other kids were waiting. Josh hugged Simon as soon as he climbed into the back and North ruffled his hair.  

“Excellent. Now, let’s give him a bit of space” He heard Lucy say.

“Safe and sound” The Sheriff said nodding politely to them before walking to his car.

It may have been entitled of him, but after that Markus asked his dad to send him to the local school so he could meet them. He still wondered at his luck, at them not rejecting him outright for inviting himself into the shelter they had built for each other, and after the slightest initial suspicion, welcoming him as part of it.

 

“Is everything OK?” Simon asked when he caught him staring 

“Yes, of course- Here, I got you the blanket” Markus said sitting next to Simon on the couch. Simon wrapped it around his shoulders and Markus noticed, pleased, that Simon had taken off his shoes, all Markus wanted was for his friends to feel at home in his house, among the things and people Markus loved most because they were part of them.

“This is so soft, so nice” Simon said, burrowing his face in the blanket, and then he reached towards him, his palm outstretched as if pushing on an invisible wall. Markus returned the gesture placing his palm against Simon’s. He didn’t remember which of them had invented the game, it was a tactile way to say, ‘a penny for your thoughts’ or even ‘I know something is bothering you, but I’m here’  created because talking was difficult for Simon when they were younger.

“How are you?” Simon asked simply, their palms still together, and Markus let out a relieved breath, even smiled. He told Simon everything that was weighing him down, about his dad being far away and him being stupid about it “Missing your dad is not stupid” Simon replied, about the music conservatory and how he was letting his dad down by not taking one of the many art schools that were dropping offers on his lap.

Markus loved art and knew that as far as technique went he could be extraordinary at it, but he knew just as well that there was no true originality in his work; no matter which medium he used the influence of his dad’s style was clearly apparent in all his pieces. His dad’s art sold very well and he was aware he was coveted as Carl Manfred 2.0. Unlike other artists heavily influenced by his father’s style he wouldn’t be a copy, he would be a living legacy, but not his own. 

Music on the other hand, his worst compositions felt more like himself than his best paintings did. He told Simon how the piece he was working on for the entrance exam was his best yet, but he didn’t tell him the name of the piece nor the inspiration for it. Only Leo knew that.

“Would you give it a rest?! I have a headache!” Leo said one Saturday morning, snatching the music sheets Markus was working on.

“Give them back, Leo! Those are Important!” Markus shouted, actually chasing his brother around the house when usually he would have ignored him

The chances of Markus and Leo ever being friends or anything remotely like it were incredibly slim. Nevertheless, there was the thinnest thread of grudging loyalty between them, if always being worn thinner by bitter resentment on one side and absolute bafflement on the other. Leo had a way of seeing through him; maybe it was because Leo had closely observed him their whole life, envious of all the things that seemed to come so easily to Markus and were impossible to him. Trying to discover what the secret was and never being any the wiser for it.

Leo stopped when he caught the title of the piece, “Si minor” penciled lightly at the top of the page; It was only another way to call the B minor key in which the piece was written, meant to look like a placeholder for a future name, it wasn’t even an anagram, but Leo had immediately understood what it meant.

“Who would have thought, our tin man doesn’t need to go to OZ after all” Leo said shoving the sheets against Markus chest.

Markus omitted that part but he told Simon everything else. He hoped someday Simon would be able to do the same. If Markus had his way he’d take all the things that Simon kept so close to him and would carry them for him, for as long as he needed to, for Simon to feel lighter and unburdened, the way Simon always made him feel. He wished he knew how to fish the loneliness out of Simon’s eyes.

Markus felt an irrelevant tear escape the corner of his eye, more because the cold weather had irritated his eyes than anything else, but he didn’t mind it, he could always be completely himself in front of Simon even if it meant looking like a fool crying about nothing.

“I’m sure your dad will be so proud of you no matter what” Simon said reassuringly “Everything will work out” and then tentative and hesitant Simon reached out to touch his face to brush the tear away. Markus kept still not wanting to startle him, but when Simon brushed his thumb over Markus’ cheekbone he took Simon’s hand gently in his own and leaned into his touch.

Markus looked deep into Simon’s ice blue eyes, as always impossibly soft and gentle and shy, and leaned forward to kiss him. Ever so slowly not to take Simon by surprise. A feather-light kiss first, to make sure it was wanted. When Simon only drew closer, searching for him, they kissed again. Markus could feel Simon’s pulse rising under his fingertips and how he shivered as he melted into their kiss, a dazing warmth expanded in Markus’ chest making him feel wonderfully lightheaded.  He wasn’t falling anymore, as he took Simon’s breath away he could only float.

While Simon, his hand resting on Markus’ chest, could feel his heart going, hardly believing Markus’ heart could beat like that because of him, fluttering right under his fingers like the soft wings of an overjoyed bird, sending a thrill down his spine every time it did. If Markus wanted him Simon didn’t have any strength to refuse, he couldn’t hear his own misgivings and insecurities when Markus was touching him so lovingly, and kissing him so eagerly, as if Markus belonged to Simon completely, just like Simon belonged to him.

When they broke their kiss Simon lowered his head, in that shy way Markus loved best, and to Markus delight Simon leant towards him, hiding his face against the crook of Markus’ neck.  

“Are you OK?” Markus asked putting his arm around him and Simon nodded, his hair soft against Markus’ collarbone

“I only need a moment” Simon said quietly,

“You can have all the moments” Markus chuckled, basking in the feeling of Simon’s warmth against him “I love you a lot, you know” Markus said after a few minutes “so much–” but as he was saying it he realized Simon’s breathing was steady and deep, and all his weight was resting on him. Overwhelmed and too exhausted by his previous sleepless nights Simon had fallen asleep.

Markus would have stayed like that forever, but thinking it would be better for Simon if he could sleep in a position that wouldn’t kill his back when he woke up, he scooted back trying not to wake him and failing; Simon opened his eyes with a surprised, sleepy gasp as soon as he felt Markus scooting away.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to–“

Markus shook his head “You really need to get to sleep” he whispered “I’ll be right here. I won’t leave, so you don’t have to worry” Markus said making space on the couch so Simon could lie down on it

“Markus–“ There it was, that breathless final S, something swirled in Markus’ chest when he heard it, making him think he had breathed in silvery starlight.

Simon reached out with his palm extended; Markus answered to the gesture again pressing their palms together.

“I have so many things I want to tell you–“ Simon trailed off and after a few moments it was clear Simon was having trouble getting past whatever curse was over him, always holding his words back.

“I’m not going anywhere, you can tell me anytime” Markus said leaning in to give him another light kiss on the bridge of his nose, making Simon smile

“Markus– I–“ Simon said blushing prettily “Thank you, for everything, always” he pushed slightly on Markus’ hand before huddling himself in the blanket and curling up to sleep, and even if those weren’t the words Simon used, to Markus it sounded like ‘I love you’ so many things Simon did and said always sounded  like that to him.

▪   ▪   ▪   ▪

Hank had no sympathy for snow, good for nothing sky dung that only served to make things that were already a nuisance twice as exasperating. It wasn’t easy to reach the abandoned railroad station. Houses like Carl Manfred’s had appalling, bumpy, narrow pathways that liked to think of themselves as “rustic” leading to them. Nobody cared to get to the old eyesore, so the only option was to hike to it. It wouldn’t be that bad at any other time, but now his boots sank heavily into the snow with every step, his gait less than elegant. He’d be in the local newspapers again next morning “Bigfoot Spotted” but it’d still be an improvement over his previous one “Smashed Sheriff Smashes All”. It didn’t help to see Connor walking as if he were in a catwalk. ‘Damn him’, Hank thought just as his leg went down up to his knee into the snow.

“Shit!”

“Do you need assistance, Lieutenant?”

“Don’t you dare” Hank said, taking Connor’s arm regardless and pulling himself out of the frozen litter

“So what’s the story?” Hank asked as they started walking again, his curiosity getting the best of him “How did you know that kid sleepwalks? Don’t tell me is some freakish power of deduction“

Connor looked at him and Hank knew he was considering if he should lie or tell him the truth

“I was the one who told Mrs. Chapman about him” Connor said after a pause, choosing the truth “That she was located in a very small rural area made her a favorable option, and my research also concluded she had one of the highest success rates and wasn’t easily deterred when it came to difficult cases even those with inconvenient outside factors”

“Inconvenient outside factors?” Hank repeated, pronouncing it with air quotes “Like what?”

“Such as media attention, for example”

“Media attention? Why would Simon–, so that’s why you came here?” Hank knew there had to be a good reason “To check on Simon? You knew him when you were in Detroit.”

“No, I had never seen him before today, and I saw Mrs. Chapman only once for a few minutes to give her the details of the case. I am glad he seems to be doing well.” Connor said matter-of-factly “Arriving here was a coincidence; I came here because you were here, I’d hoped you’d have some advice” and that was the truth again. Now Hank was intrigued and somewhat troubled.

“Advice? Fine, let’s start from the beginning, so how–“

“Lieutenant–” Connor said looking up beyond the top of the trees

“What the hell–“ following his line of vision Hank saw black smoke spiraling up from the approximate location of the old railroad station.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Thank you so much for reading!  
> [X] KISS SIMON


	7. Chapter 7

“This is it?” Chloe asked appalled when they reached their destination

“Yeah, you hadn’t seen it before? What were you expecting?” North was amused

“When I heard old building, I thought old but functional not–“ Chloe gestured towards it like a mildly distressed flight attendant

“This is, definitely, not functional” North said looking at the sad, rotting corpse of the railroad station. Some walls were starting to cave in, the windows were bricked shut, a scuffed up roof.

“Do you still want to go in?” North asked offering a flashlight to her; luckily North knew exactly what exploring the lake station meant. Chloe took the flashlight from her hands and marched towards the front door, North couldn’t help but laugh.

“You can’t go in that way”

“Oh, please, don’t make fun of me” Chloe said walking daintily back to her

“I promise I’m not” maybe she was but only a little. North stifled a smile and turned back to the building “So, are we just sightseeing?” she asked as she looked for a suitable place for Chloe to sneak in “I can’t believe you thought this would be a functional place” North considered that as she examined a badly boarded opening on the decayed wall “If you did, why would you want to break in? That’s not like you”

Chloe looked downwards in that vague way that meant Chloe was thinking of something that worried and upset her, just like that time at school when the pigeon guy was discussed.

“Chloe, if this is about the dead guy you have to go tell the Sheriff about it”

“I don’t want to set the police on Elijah when I don’t know if I’m right!”

“You call him Elijah? Gross!” North said as she pried a piece of plywood lose “He’s a creepy old guy, and why not! If he has nothing to do with it, it shouldn’t matter”

“It would matter to me; it may damage my chances of being hired at Cyberlife later” Chloe kneeled down to crawl through the space, peeking into the dark before turning back to look at North “I really appreciate all your help. You can go now if you wish”   

North rolled her eyes at her “Ladies first” she said gesturing towards the charcoal void

“Thank you very much” Chloe replied politely, before crawling through the narrow gap in the wall “Watch out, this is really filthy” she called out to North.

When they were inside everything was pitch-black and smelled like dusty mold, as they turned on their flashlights the scene was overall disappointing. A variety of old, rotten furniture and dirt, old spider webs, broken glass and miscellaneous garbage.

“What are we looking for anyway?” North asked

“Anything suspicious”

“Very relative in an old, creepy, derelict building”

Chloe sighed as they made their way through the old rooms, their steps making grainy crunching sounds on the rubble “One day Elijah told me he used this place to store a prototype because it was instable and it was too much of a hazard to have around the public”

“And you believed him? Doesn’t your beloved Cyberlife have labs for that?”

“He said it was a personal project he only worked on when he wasn’t in Detroit. He showed me some of the drawings and diagrams, even third angle projections and I didn’t think anything of it. They looked normal enough, an indicator light and some sort of odd regulator device. He showed me how they would be used on androids, so advanced, like something out of a sci-fi story. Then he joked about how he’d test them in humans first, I thought he was messing with me–“

“He sounds delightful!” North scoffed, trying to remember everything Markus had told her about Elijah Kamski. Nothing good came to mind, Markus’ opinion of the man was far down the negatives, and although Markus and North didn’t see eye to eye in many things, she trusted his judgment a hundred percent.

Chloe ignored her “Then I saw that guy’s body–” her voice cracked for a second “his wounds matched Elijah’s android drawings exactly, not only the one in his torso where the regulator would go, also the one in his temple where the indicator light would be, that’s not a coincidence, right? I wanted to steal the diagrams but he never leaves me alone when I’m at his house. So I thought maybe I could find something here”

“But you still don’t think he’s guilty?” North asked with crackling incredulity

“I want to be sure”

“I think he lied to you about this place” North said shining her flashlight on no more than filthy rubbish, an old mattress probably dragged in by squatters, creepy homemade cages she chose to believe were for rats “but I still think you should tell Sheriff Anderson what you just told me”

“I didn’t know you two were such good friends, no wonder he lets you get away with so much” Chloe tried to tease lightly, but she sounded very unconvincing, the absent look was back on her face.

They went up the narrow staircase leading to the second floor. North led the way slowly, making sure it would hold and not break from under them, Chloe followed close behind. They reached the quaint, old door at the top, and when they went through it they saw– still– nothing. 

“There’s nothing here at all!” Chloe said, sounding more relieved than disappointed.

Chloe was absolutely right, unless animal droppings, more dirt, and broken old furniture was something. The second floor was far less oppressive; a long but spacious hallway with a few doors right and left. They walked through the corridor cautiously, the floor wasn’t in the best condition, and opened one of the doors finding the filing room. The old wooden pigeon holes were moldy but still standing; there was another door at the other side of the room, old blue paint peeling off of it. North guessed it would lead to a bathroom or a small office space. They could see the grey sky through some of the small gaps in the caving roof, and even if they still needed their flashlights, it was harder to imagine something was stalking in the dark, waiting for just the right moment to jump at them.

“It’s lucky you chose winter for this. The ticks and the smell would be impossible in summer” North said taking in all the bird and bat droppings on the floor. She thought she heard the faint clicking sound of the tired staircase door swinging shut outside in the hallway.

“I really feel bad for him–” Chloe said softly as she looked at a dead pigeon lying on the dusty floor, still pristine because of the cold.

North was trying to think of something comforting to say when she noticed someone looking at her from the dark. She instinctively directed her flashlight at them; the old broken mirror reflected the light right back at her.

“Smart” North said annoyed, blinking her eyes, and waiting for them to readjust. That was dumb, being startled by her own reflection, blinding herself with her own light. She was glad Josh wasn’t around to see it or he would never let her live it down.  

North kept exploring the room irritated at herself. She wasn’t afraid or nervous in any way, but for just a second she could have sworn she saw Simon reflected in the mirror; maybe she was worried about him. That thought annoyed her even more. For Simon there wasn’t anywhere better than where she had left him. If he had died in the last hours and was trying to haunt her it better was to thank her, or she’d personally kick his ass into the afterlife.

“Do you smell that?” Chloe asked suddenly

“What? The possible smell of mortal asbestos? The poop assortment?”

“No, I mean the roses” Chloe said puzzled

“I thought that was your perfume” North said, and then she smelled something else. Something she knew perfectly well. Smoke.

“I think it’s time for us to leave” North said grabbing Chloe’s hand.

They walked out of the room and rushed towards the door leading to the staircase. North grabbed the knob letting go of it with a gasp as soon as she felt the sting of the steel burning her hand. When she tried to push the door, it wouldn’t budge. They hurried to the next room they saw looking for an exit, when North walked into it fire was all she could see.

“How–“

“Hurry, North!” Chloe said, pulling her back into the filing room, but all the windows were bricked shut, the holes in the ceiling were too small and too high to reach. The only way down was through the blocked stairs. The smoke was starting to make breathing a laborious task, when North looked into the mirror and saw Simon again. In the mirror he was lazily leaning against the blue door, a mocking smile on his face he wouldn’t ever be capable of in real life. When she turned to look at the real door there was only smoke but when she looked at the mirror Simon was still there, sneering at her. Having nowhere else to go North darted to it.

When she went through the door she was startled. It wasn’t a bathroom or an office, it looked as if someone had taken walls down to make only one big room and it was perfectly clean. Not one speck of dust or dirt, although there were a few stains of blue paint in the middle of the floor, but those may have been there since the place was built. There was no debris of any kind just a perfectly clean room, and Simon again. She saw him only for a moment, smoke going right through him.

“North, what are you doing?! There isn’t any exit here” Chloe said, obviously unaware of what North was seeing, but squeezing her hand tighter when her eyes caught the blue stains on the floor.

Simon looked at North raising one of his arms, making a ridiculous finger gun and mimicking shooting at her, a nasty and most unlike Simon grin on his face. Then he vanished and so did the floor beneath her feet.

Chloe and North went through the floor landing with a sickening crash. North was hurt, although she couldn’t figure out what hurt, and she couldn’t breathe. North was also furious. She was aware of the angry flames leaping at them, as she realized they had fallen into the first floor where they had a better chance of finding a way out.

“Chloe, we have to move!” North said getting to her knees, looking over at Chloe who was curled up into herself “Can you get up?”

“Why wouldn’t I” Chloe said, imitating something she had heard North say a few times before.

“We have to keep low to avoid the smoke” North told her, as they tried to find their way towards one of the weaker sections of the wall.

With the reckless self-assurance that would distinguish her in the Fire Department and win her medals of courage and valor well before she even turned 30, North moved among the flames, swiftly through tunnels made out of the burning pieces of decaying furniture and the rusted cages, pushing them out of her way as she felt her skin blister and her lungs straining to breathe, trying to be mindful of Chloe so she wouldn’t take the worst of it.  When they reached a wall that looked weak enough to budge, North kicked at it, once, twice, three times, when Chloe joined on the fourth try the piece of plywood finally broke away.

“Go!” North said, pushing Chloe before her. As Chloe went out she gasped as someone pulled her up.  North was alarmed only for a second before she realized who it was.

“Wright!” Sheriff Anderson said outstretching his arm to her “Is there someone else inside?” he asked as he pulled her out

“Only us” North said “I didn’t do this one” she told him angrily after she finished coughing at least one of her lungs out.

“I know, kid” the Sheriff said as he helped her sit down in the snow while Connor checked on Chloe. The old building was consumed by the flames, as easily as the little newspaper boats North liked to burn when she was a child, as insubstantial as Simon’s ghost had been.

North read somewhere that ghosts came with smells, was Simon really a ghost? But if Simon was a ghost roses wasn’t a smell she’d ever associate with him. If Simon were a ghost she’d expect the waxy smell of a box of crayons, or maybe baking, cinnamon or ginger and nutmeg which North hated but Markus loved, or even one of those dreadful laundry detergents that stung your nose, but made you think of your comforter at home, not at all the cloying smell of roses that you could almost taste, and made you feel a bit sick.

 

▪   ▪   ▪   ▪

Markus read sitting cross legged on the floor with his back resting against the couch – not leaving the room even for a moment, guarding Simon and making sure he slept safely – when something shifted. At first, he thought his eyes were getting tired of reading, but when he looked up from his book everything around him seemed muddy and dull and his hearing felt muted, as if he were being pulled down under murky water. He reached to check on Simon who, if anything, seemed to be sleeping more soundly than before. There was an odd, eerie stillness to him now Markus didn’t like.

Markus was considering if he should wake him up, when he looked up and immediately tensed as if preparing to fight. He could see his own reflection in the mirror wall, kneeling on the floor with his hand on Simon’s shoulder. Simon sleeping on the couch right behind him, and then sitting on the armrest looking down on Simon, was Simon again– or at least something that tried to look like him. Markus turned to look at the armrest. Nothing. Looked back at the mirror and there it was.

Markus dreaded that whatever that thing was had let Simon wonder into their world and now was here to take him back. The creature turned his head in an unnatural, jerking motion, and looked right back at him.

When their eyes met, Markus knew he would never mistake whatever this was for Simon no matter how much the creature tried to look like him. There was a cruel sharpness to his expression, a mocking twist to his mouth, that were impossible to even imagine on Simon’s face, but both of them did share the same forlorn sadness trapped deep within their eyes, although where Simon’s was tempered by gentle starlight, the creature’s eyes were like a dark, empty well. Only dead things could rest at the bottom of it.

In the mirror the creature stood up from his spot on the couch and walked towards them, his movements lurching and inhuman, as if his body would crumble and reveal something rotten under the Simon mask when it did. As it got closer to the surface of the mirror Markus prepared himself waiting for the creature to break through it, and then he remembered other mirrors breaking, slashing Simon’s hands.

“It’s because of you, isn’t it?” Markus said accusingly, standing up but reaching protectively towards Simon, his fingers barely brushing Simon’s hair “The mirrors, the night terrors, sleepwalking. You are doing all of that to him”

The creature shrugged casually, almost playfully but harshly, as if it wasn’t of any importance and if it was it wouldn’t even care.

“I don’t know what you are” Markus said walking towards the mirror wall “But you won’t hurt him, or take him” he tried to remember what he knew about dealing with preternatural beings, finding he didn’t know anything, so he went for plain facts “Simon belongs here, with us– with me. You’ll have to go through me” Markus said levelly, holding the creature’s empty, mocking gaze

All of this only seemed to amuse the creature greatly; he laughed mutely inside the mirror, and even without sound Markus felt it as decidedly derisive. ‘You aren’t like Simon at all’ Markus thought angrily, a rough creature like this one had no right to look even remotely like Simon. Then the creature stopped laughing, abruptly as if it had realized something, it got really close to the mirror walking through Markus’ reflection as if through water and blocking it from his view. The creature mouthed a name, silently, but slowly and carefully, as if it wanted to make sure Markus would understand it. Markus did. When he said it back to the creature, the mirror wall trembled, breaking as if from the inside, cracks running all through the mirror like a bursting rash, or a splitting wound.

Markus stepped back, the sound of the cracking mirror breaking the spell. He could see colors again and there was nothing unusual left in the shattered mirror, only his reflection looked back at him, one of the cracks cruelly lashing through his blue eye, and behind him Simon sitting on the couch.

“Simon–” Markus said turning back to him, but Simon wasn’t looking at the mirror or at him, all his attention seemed to be caught by something outside.

“Markus, look!” Simon pointed towards the window, a spiral of black smoke in the distance, dark against the light grey sky “North?” Simon said and Markus –still shaken, feeling he had just woken up from a bad dream, wondering if he had just fallen asleep too– nodded “Let’s go”. Simon put on his shoes, Markus grabbed his coat and they left.

Neither of them was thinking of danger as they walked out into the veranda and then down and through the hiking trail. It was a place they knew, Markus walked through it almost daily. Their thoughts were focused on North, thinking only of walking the mile as fast as they could to check on her, so they never noticed the creeping shadow following them.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Thank you for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

On a surface level they were identical, Daniel and Simon. A mirror image of each other some would say, forgetting a mirror image is reversed.

Daniel and Simon always thought of in that order, Daniel a problem to be dealt with, Simon an afterthought. It was easy to forget him, the quieter of the two, always hiding in small places, always trying to go unseen. Daniel was sunnier and friendlier and he was soon affectionate whereas Simon shyness made him seem too vacant and cold, and his tendency to withdraw only made it worse. But there was a sharp edge to Daniel everyone saw but dismissed, quick to react to perceived slights and betrayals, hurt and anger always oozing silently from him with the smell of gunpowder. He was considered no more than a nuisance until it was too late. When The Worst happened and Daniel died everyone looked at Simon and seeing Daniel looking back at them they shivered and walked away.

The Worst wouldn’t happen again, not under their roof at least. Not to them.

After Daniel died Simon’s status changed from afterthought to haunting inconvenience. Few foster homes were ready to take the twins when Daniel had been there, having ugly outbursts that would last for hours, an angry meltdown every few days, his brother being the only one who could talk him down from his rages. Now no foster home would take Simon by himself, with the bloody shadow of his dead brother hanging over him.

When Simon sleepwalked for the first time the logical conclusion would have been to attribute it to the shock of losing not only a brother but a twin, but the sensational explanation was favored instead; everyone was sure Simon was possessed by Daniel’s spirit, blood thirsty and enraged.

It didn’t help his case, standing there in the dark, his eyes blank, blood dripping from his hands (never mind that it was always his own) it had never happened before Daniel’s death after all. Rose Chapman would regret her decision; mark their words. If Daniel who seemed so open and affectionate had been a cold blooded killer, who knew what Simon, who had always been quieter and (in all honesty) weirder do? One day they would be stabbed to death in their beds, or more likely gassed or poisoned. That was the type of thing the quiet ones did, wasn’t it?

It seemed like a lot of fear to have for a child of thirteen, but the newscasts were generous with the grisly murder details and to their credit most of what they reported was true.

Yes, Daniel was adopted by the Phillips family. Yes, he woke up one day no long after and murdered John Phillips in cold blood for no discernable reason. With the man’s own gun no less, shooting him in the back, several times, overkill. Yes, Daniel also took the couple’s little girl hostage, and then jumped from the top of the high-end apartment building. Oh, Emma Phillips had been left in the roof, terrified but unharmed.

Simon, the remaining twin, left behind in foster care months before the crime took place, was seen with morbid curiosity at best, and fearful aversion overall. Rose Chapman appeared as if by magic, spiriting him away to her anonymous little town, sleepwalking, murderous dead brother’s ghost and all, before the tidal wave of news crews could crash down on him.

The officer appointed to the case received quite a lot of heat for it as well, Connor something or other. The hostage was recovered (not thanks to him), and the thirteen year old suspect had died. They should have known better than to send a rookie to a delicate hostage situation. Connor floundered in the police force for a few years after the incident and then he’d disappeared. Probably washing up in some nondescript rural town, reading self help books on how to deal with mild failure.

The newscasts got one thing wrong. Daniel hadn’t jumped, he simply let himself fall backwards so everything would stop, a flightless blackbird smashing into the pavement, he could still feel his organs exploding as he hit the ground.

Splat.

Daniel laughed with the sound of cracking glass and grinding teeth. It was rude of Markus to think of him as a creature but Daniel guessed he may be right. He could no longer call himself human after all. He hardly even looked the part.

What happened after you died? It was something Daniel hadn’t found out even after he did die. Not really, unless the answer was, you stick around.

So he played with his brother because what else was there to do? Or maybe it was because he felt guilty for leaving him behind not only one time but two.

Daniel hadn’t thought anything of leaving him the first time. He was sick of being passed around, and the Phillips family wanted only one son not two. They wanted an affectionate son who would play with Emma, not a standoffish one who had to be coaxed into saying as much as one word.

Daniel hadn’t thought anything of leaving him the second time as he let himself fall off the roof. His last thought had been how stupidly shocked that cop looked.

And he didn’t think that much of hurting his brother now. It wasn’t out of malice, he had always liked Simon –his mousy, timid, brave Simon– very much so. But it was the way of things; you couldn’t play with the dead without paying a price, usually in blood, so with Simon’s blood making drip drip sounds on the floor they went for walks. Though Daniel had to admit he toyed with the idea of letting his brother be hit by a car or fall into the icy lake a few times, to his credit he was only close to it once, and that same day when Markus and Leo picked his brother up he had been alarmed.

Simon didn’t run or scream or even squeak, he let the strangers scoop him up, like a stupid little mouse. It was Daniel’s fault, always taking so much out of Simon to stick around. It was then that Daniel decided to stop their walks, it had been difficult to let go of them, but he eventually did. He contented himself with looking at his brother through the mirror, changing as his brother changed. When he got really close he thought Simon could see him too. He’d look right at him and look puzzled, tilt his head this way and that thinking “Do I really look like that?” he didn’t, Daniel did. Sometimes, Simon would touch the mirror and think “I really miss you” and Daniel would say “I guess I miss you too”

Then Daniel realized how close that man’s shadow was looming again. Everything would have been different if it weren’t for him.

Or maybe not.

Probably not.

Either way he didn’t want him near Simon, he owed his brother that at the very least.

He tried to warn his friends about it. He appeared for Josh. Sure, the accident hadn’t been ideal but that wasn’t his fault! and Josh had survived! and more importantly he didn’t pick up that man from the road. Daniel couldn’t resist taking his brother out for a walk that night, more to the point; he needed his blood not to fade away. Appearing outside mirrors evaporated what was left of him and he wasn’t ready to go just yet. He made the cuts in his brother’s hands as deep as he could without really hurting something important, so he wouldn’t have to do it again for a long time. He was sure if Simon knew it was Daniel doing it and why, he wouldn’t mind. His brother was that type of self-sacrificing idiot alright.

He helped North find her way out, you shoot you fall, not that anyone was thanking him for that. He showed himself to Markus.

Earnest, sincere, tedious, tiresome Markus.

Daniel didn’t understand what his brother could possibly see in him. He had been carried away messing with him, so much so he almost forgot what he wanted to say, and then he remembered. Oh, yes!  That man’s name.

Elijah Kamski was Mr. Phillips’ friend, been invited to dinner often. There was some sort of understanding between them. At the time Daniel didn’t understand he was going to be a lab rat, he only understood he was being thrown away again, so he killed John for betraying him. He didn’t have an ounce of regret or remorse about that, John deserved it. Daniel had had enough of being passed around, like an old, worn-out toy you gave up once you were bored. He took Emma because he felt cornered. He didn’t have a choice, and his brother wasn’t there to talk him down from the edge. He let his little sister run away, and then he fell.

 

    ▪   ▪   ▪   ▪

The cheap mirror hanging on the wall of the small hospital bathroom fell in the early morning, and Josh –listening to the tape in his walkman on loop, telling himself not to be absolutely ridiculous every five minutes– had been trying not to think of it as a bad omen all day.

Josh wasn’t given to superstitious thought but he would never be able to shake off his suspicions towards breaking mirrors. Even at 48 –a renowned university professor who enjoyed fanciful thinking but was not swept by it– he’d still have to roll call his three closest, oldest friends right away if he as much as heard a mirror break. It didn’t hurt to make sure everyone was alright, he’d think as he facetimed them, glad he could actually see them during the call, recalling how the week of his car accident back in their teens started with the pieces of his rear-view mirror and ended with the four of them in a hospital room.  

Sitting in his hospital bed Josh’s uneasiness kept growing worse as the minutes ticked by. Markus was always freakishly punctual, Josh’s dad had actually set his watch by him a few times, so when the clock struck 3:30 and then 4 and then 5 without any of his friends arriving or calling Kara at the nurse station to tell him they couldn’t make it, he knew something had to be wrong.

He walked to the phones, dialing North’s number first. No answer. Rose’s next, where Traci told him Simon was not there and hadn’t been since he left for school with Markus in the morning. Markus’ last, it wasn’t a place they normally went to, but he could as well try before setting a search team on them.  

“Yeah” A nervous voice picked up after the first tone

“Ehm…” Josh was taken aback, he wasn’t expecting anyone but Markus to answer “Is– is Markus there?”

There was a pause long enough to make Josh wonder if the call had been disconnected.

“You are… Josh, right? My brother is not here” and there was something unfamiliar in Leo’s voice–

Concern, that was it. He was talking like he had other than the utmost visceral disgust for his brother. Josh stomach sunk, it had to be bad

“My car is parked at the front and his school bag is in the living room” Leo continued “The robot is never this messy, what’s going on?”

Leo was not superstitious either. There were in fact very few things he believed in or cared about, but that night he had had a nightmare about his brother. His brother being cornered at the top of a building, being given no choice but to jump, falling so many floors only to break as he hit the ground. His brother being thrown in a junkyard like trash, and in the dream this was directly Leo’s fault. By the time Leo left the methadone clinic that morning he could still see it, Markus torn up in so many pieces, face down in the mud, his blue eye missing, his legs gone. He tried to ignore the stupid dream, maybe nightmares were some side effect of trying to get clean, his conscience sharpening and stabbing him in the back or some bullshit. At the end it made him too itchy and restless. He left a message for his father telling him nothing but that he’d be back the next evening, and took a taxi ride home, spectacularly expensive, but Leo never worried or even thought about price tags.

His itchy anxiety quickly twisted into anger when he saw his car parked at the front of the house. Of-fucking-course, Markus couldn’t wait one motherfucking minute to take the shit that literally belonged to Leo, as if he hadn’t already taken everything else. He searched the house for his brother, first angrily, and then – when he noticed the school bags and the blanket left in the living room, the cracked mirror –  with crawling unease like fleas running all over him.  

Markus was perfectly orderly. He didn’t keep his room clean or his things tidy because he thought he had to, not even because he liked it. It was something he did without even realizing, something innate in him, like some sort of programmed machine. Leo still wondered if his brother was really a human being. Always doing things perfectly, always keeping his cool, just like a robot. A perfect son made-to-order because the first one was a staggeringly disappointing runt.

When they ended the call both Josh and Leo felt considerably worse than before.

Josh hurried to find Kara and found North instead, badly scorched, but with her temper still ablaze.

Leo went out into the woods. He didn’t walk for long before he tripped on what he thought was a log, he turned back to kick it in pent up anger and frustration realizing as he did so that it was his brother. Unconscious and face down, not in mud, but in red snow.

‘Splat’ said the sound of cracking glass, but he was not amused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Thank you for reading this far!


	9. Chapter 9

Simon tried to remember the paths they were taking although everything looked the same – desolate snow and skeletal tree trunks repeating over and over again– and despite the gun pointing right at him he wasn’t too scared, not yet at least; his brain kept him busy repeating two questions. The first and most important was “is Markus alright?”

Simon hadn’t heard or seen Kamski, the one thing he saw was Markus collapsing to the ground.  Without even thinking Simon kneeled down, lying protectively over Markus to shield him from any subsequent blows, but they hadn’t come. When Simon opened his eyes and looked up there was Kamski, casually standing over them as if he were waiting for a bus, the gun in his hand was the only thing that gave away that something wasn’t right. 

“Get up” Kamski’s voice was lazy and bored much like it had been earlier in the day “You are coming with me”

“I can’t leave Markus like this, he’s hurt–”

“And I’m afraid he’ll be dead if you don’t come”

Simon hesitated not wanting to leave Markus behind, bleeding, unconscious and defenseless in the cold. Kamski shot the gun, the bullet piercing the bloody snow too close to Markus’ head.

“He didn’t see me” Kamski said calmly “I have no reason to kill the son of a fairly well liked acquaintance. He isn’t badly hurt and it’s not that cold. He’ll come to soon enough and go home. That is, if you come with me very quietly, of course” he pointed the gun at Markus again, correcting his aim “If not I’ll just kill him and take you all the same”

If it was a question of Simon’s life for Markus’, Simon didn’t have to think twice about it, he left with Kamski. As they walked through the woods, the sky started getting darker and Simon waited. He didn’t think he’d be able to outrun him, but he kept alert trying to find a good opportunity to escape, feeling an odd mixture of relief and dread now that they had put some distance between them and Markus, his thoughts kept circling between him and the second question.

“Was Daniel scared when he died?”

Simon asked that to himself often enough in dark nights exactly like this one–, or almost exactly like this one, guns pointing at him notwithstanding. No one would ever be able to give him an answer. Now, it was inevitable to wonder under the circumstances.

When Daniel was adopted by the Phillips family the two of them had been happy about it. Simon would miss his brother but it wasn’t like they were losing each other, they both would know exactly where the other was. Daniel had needed a stable home with more urgency than Simon did. Change was always very difficult for him, and Simon saw with helpless clarity how every time they were moved to a new group home something was being chipped away from the already precarious edge where Daniel always perched. With every new rejection Daniel’s anger became harder to contain, as if his brother were trying to bottle lightning. There had to be a reason for what Daniel had done. Maybe it wouldn’t be a good reason or a logic one, but something must have happened to tip him over at the end. Now Simon’s fear of dying mixed with his regret for letting his brother go by himself, for not being there to pull him back before he fell.

Had Daniel been as scared as Simon was now?  Then again, Daniel had been the one holding the gun that day–

Simon didn’t have time to go further down that well traveled rabbit hole when he realized with a start that they were walking towards the door of what must be Kamski’s holiday home, so close to Markus’ house, not that far away from the highway. He could still find a way to escape, there were always choices, there was always a way. As he walked inside he tried to be aware of everything. The doors Kamski was opening– and then locking behind them, the hallways they were walking through. Markus’ house was like a sorcerer’s castle in a fairy tale, airy and full of wonderful things. Kamski’s was just as big and extravagant but it had the soul of an abattoir. The air was heavy and oppressive, the walls closed on Simon despite the spacious rooms, the luxurious furniture and the mirrors that were everywhere but gave the impression of absorbing light instead of reflecting it among all the menacing reds and grimy greys Kamski favored.

The alarming abattoir atmosphere only increased when Simon saw the bloody indoor pool, at the sight of it the fear that had swirled inside him for the last hour finally raised up to his throat and he was sick, throwing up and heaving until it hurt because there was nothing else to bring up.

“It’s only red tiles” Kamski said conversationally after Simon was done “clean that yourself would you” Kamski placed a roll of paper towels in his hands, as if Simon had just upset a glass of juice on a counter. Simon did clean it to buy himself more time, maybe he could break one of those big windows somehow.

“Thank you. The bin is at your right” Kamski said as Simon finished cleaning the floor “I’ll bleach it after we are done with the tests. I guess its better not to have your DNA floating about and the chlorine of the pool will mask the smell of the bleach” Kamski said lightly as he showed Simon to the last room, which was empty but for a medical chair that looked a bit like a big spider sitting in the middle of the room, waiting to pounce on its prey.

“Now if you are good I won’t restrain you, which I think will reduce your stress and it’ll save me a lot of headaches when interpreting your data.” Kamski said as he locked the door behind them “If you try anything stupid, I locked every door. You won’t get far, it’ll only irritate me, and I’d hate to damage you as it would distort the results. Sit down, please” Kamski pushed him towards the chair, not violently; he did so as if Simon were a reluctant child at the dentist.

“You don’t have to do this, you can choose not to” Simon stood next to the chair, feeling pleased with himself because his voice didn’t shake as he said it.

“However, I choose to do it, but let me assure you is nothing personal” Kamski drew what Simon thought was a gun. Simon tried to be brave. He didn’t squeeze his eyes shut, instead he glared, it was ineffective but slightly satisfying, if it was the last thing he did. Kamski placed the gun to his temple and shot. Simon let out a sharp hiss, the sudden piercing pain in his head made him so dizzy his knees buckled and Kamski took that opportunity to set him on the chair with easy, practiced motions.

“That wasn’t too bad, was it?” Kamski said placing the jet injector to the side “Think of it as an electrode, if an uncomfortably invasive one” he continued “It will collect the electrical activity of your brain and translate it to simple color coded signals. It’s a shame, with Rupert it was always stuck on red, and it doesn’t seem to be different now so I can’t really assess if it’s working properly, but it probably is. Red means overwhelming, agonizing levels of stress. Would you say that’s an accurate description of your emotional state at the moment?” Kamski asked coldly and Simon replied only by glaring at him again. Kamski ignored that and kept talking to him with an odd sort of detachment as if he were an uninterested teacher giving a lecture.

“Cyberlife really has marvelous things civilians can’t even imagine, and I’m going to create the next great one. For that I’m trying to find out how to synthesize a human soul. What makes us human? Is it here” and he touched his temple “Or here” he said tapping the middle of his torso and Simon wondered if he didn’t know where his heart was. Simon looked around the room, empty and unremarkable, and then he looked up and saw a big mirror on the ceiling, his pale face looking back at him, a light shinning bright red right on his temple where it was still sore.

“Oh, I do apologize about the mirror; it’s embedded on the ceiling so it’s not that easy to remove. The thirium pump will be a much more invasive, lengthy, procedure and I recommend not looking up” Kamski said as he prepared what looked to Simon like surgery equipment “This is not my usual workspace I had to adapt one of my bedrooms; my associate thought it was better to transfer it once Rupert escaped and I had to leave him behind on the road. I only had time to kill him and retrieve his LED and his regulator, not that they are worth anything now that he’s dead, and with that drunk sniffing around...” Kamski trailed off as he placed a bottle with blue liquid in front of Simon “Drink this. It’s probably for the best you were sick, an empty stomach is going to work better”

 Simon hesitated

“It is in your best interest” Kamski said evenly “Everything will be worse if you don’t. Not only will it be more painful but I can force you to drink it. As a courtesy, I’m giving you the option of doing it yourself”

Simon took the bottle and with it what treacherous, twisted version of agency he could have in this situation, and drank. The thought of blood came back to his mind; the liquid was gooey and oily. It left an uncomfortable feeling of a film in his throat and made his mouth feel weirdly numb.

“Good. It will take a little while for it to start working, like anesthetic at the dentist, so just like at the dentist, should I tell you some of what is going to happen?” Kamski’s casual tone, as if Simon were really only in a routine visit to the doctor, was almost worse than if he had been threatening.

“I’m quite proud of this” Kamski said, showing him a small cylindrical device with more of that blue liquid on the inside “such a small heart, yet such a pain to make. You need plasma from the subject so the biocomponent will be compatible with them and not all test subjects produce viable prototypes. I wasted so much time creating this prototype for your brother” Kamski said placing the device on the tool tray with the rest of his equipment “and then the idiot went berserk for whatever reason and got himself killed in the process, effectively rendering all my work completely worthless. I tried to find you, it seemed so convenient that Daniel had a spare, but when I arrived you were already gone.

I had to start from scratch, it took me years to find another viable subject, which failed, but so it’s the nature of science. His data won’t go to waste and neither will yours” Kamski looked at him indifferently “I’m sorry to tell you, unlike Rupert, you will die almost immediately after the procedure, a twin is not a 100% match and a 100% match to the biocomponent is essential for this to have any possibility of success, but I thought” Kamski said with a nonchalant shrug “might as well. Learn something from it, instead of letting Daniel’s state of the art thirium pump go to waste, I rather use it on you than as a paper weight”

Simon’s eyes started to bother him, he blinked once, and he blinked again, but the slight burn and then the blue haze that started to blur his vision didn’t clear away. He was afraid, he didn’t want to die like this. He wanted to go back to his friends, see Markus again. He looked up right into the mirror. Simon knew he must be looking confused and terrified but through his blurring vision he saw his reflection looking back at him; pale not with fear or pain, but with barely contained rage, lightning about to strike. No foreign red light in sight. Only then Simon realized it wasn’t always his face looking back at him from the other side of the mirror.

“The thirium seems to be working now, shall we start?” Kamski said as the mirror over them shattered with a loud bang. Simon moved swiftly reaching for one of the sharp mirror fragments that rained all around him as he had done so many times while he slept; it cut into his hand, drops of his blood dripping to the floor. Simon used all his strength to sink it deeply into Kamski’s shoulder, grabbed Daniel’s blue heart and ran.

 

    ▪   ▪   ▪   ▪

“Send a fucking ambulance if you are going to sit on your fat ass, fuckwad! It’s your job to listen to me, you fucking– “ Gavin cut the call on him.

After finding his brother unconscious in the hiking trail Leo had carried him, or more accurately, dragged him home, although he was pretty sure you weren’t supposed to move someone who was injured but unsure if he should leave him in the cold. Afraid he’d mess something up he placed him on the floor as soon as they were inside and for once he did what you were supposed to and called the authorities, not that they were of any use. He looked towards his brother expecting to see him worse, pastier, dead– but luckily for him what he saw was Markus starting to come to.

“Markus, thank fuck.” Leo said, squatting next to him “I’m taking you to the ER, Gavin is being an useless motherfucker. Where do you have my car keys?”

Markus looked at him as if trying to recognize him, then looked around the room, the change in his expression was instantaneous and Leo knew just as immediately something was terribly wrong.

“He took him, he took Simon!” was the first thing out of Markus’ mouth as he got up from the floor unsteady and wobbly, like those do it yourself bookshelves Leo could never build right.

“Who?” Leo asked and what followed was his perfect brother –always annoyingly dignified, always so serious– blabbering intelligible nonsense

“I didn’t see him– but we were walking– Simon and I, Simon was right by my side when I felt a flash of pain in my head and everything went dark, but the creature” Markus said walking towards the cracked mirror wall as he pointed to it as if something should be there besides their reflection “the creature in the mirror told me, and I saw it– I should have known– Kamski wouldn’t stop staring at Simon when we arrived, Kamski has him– he took him–” Markus said, concluding his incoherent speech

Leo didn’t say ‘that’s not possible’ or ‘how can you know for sure?’ or even ‘mirror creature?’ he had enough experience with erratic behavior to sort out the relevant points. Plus, Elijah kidnapping someone was completely inside the realm of the absolutely possible as far as Leo was concerned.

When they were younger Leo heard something odd once. He picked the lock to Elijah’s study at one of those absurd parties not even their father liked but to which they were always forced to go anyway. Leo was trying to find something to steal, sometimes if he got really lucky he could find unattended pain medication at those parties –Not that it mattered now. He didn’t lift anything that day anyway– when Kamski entered the study to make a call. Leo hid, crouching behind one of those ridiculous, fuck ugly modern design couches, feeling mostly incompetent and stupid before he realized what he was listening to.  

“I can’t ask him for Markus” Elijah said into the phone “Manfred is not like Phillips, he loves that kid even if he’s not his biological son, no matter the offer I can tell he won’t give him up. I could try to get Leo; Manfred would assume the brat ran away. Frankly, we would be doing the man a favor”

Leo never dared tell his father what he had heard, thinking he must have misunderstood and would be called a liar. The boy who cried wolf one too many times; a classmate planted it in my locker, the principal’s got it out for me, mall security has a grudge, Elijah said he’d take me because he couldn’t buy Markus off of you. It sounded completely delusional even to him. He had been so irked by the way Markus watched over him whenever Elijah stalked about, and by how he himself had rather kept an eye on his annoying little brother too, just in case Elijah decided to take him despite knowing their father would leave no stone unturned if Markus went missing. Leo felt sure Elijah was the sort of person who would be first in line in a search party, ready to offer all his time and heartfelt words while thinking of the best place to hide the body, now Leo said  

“Let’s call the Sheriff’s office again; even Gavin will listen to you”

“No” Markus said firmly, sounding much older than he was “I can’t wait for Gavin or even Sheriff Anderson, what if Simon doesn’t have that time? So much has gone by already” Markus strode up and down the room like a caged animal “What would he want him for?”

Markus eyes looked odd, and it took Leo a second too realize it was because they were wet with tears he hadn’t shed yet. Leo had never seen his brother cry before; he seemed to be impervious to pain, to take most things in stride.

Their father adopted Markus when he was five and the few indistinct memories Markus had of his life before being Markus Manfred he had discarded as uneventful and irrelevant, like worn pieces of canvas that were too small and useless to be worth keeping. Leo’s mom died when he was nine, and only then had his father taken him under his wing. Markus and Leo arrived to the Manfred estate roughly at the same time. One because he was wanted, chosen even, the other because Carl Manfred had done his duty, taking care of his illegitimate son financially, and once Leo’s mom had died without any other family to take care of him, it wouldn’t have been quite proper to let him fall down the cracks. That was something Carl Manfred kept doing with varying degrees of competence, trying to prevent Leo from falling down further.

Leo had never seen his father in person before that, his mom used to have all these books with prints of his art pieces, she had a big Manfred Original hanging on the wall of their small living room that always made her smile, but Leo was always oddly intimidated by, and she pointed him out to Leo often in magazines or on television. Once Leo met him, his father didn’t feel any more familiar or comforting than those grainy pictures, or the artwork Leo had never liked.

Leo was miserable those first months, while Markus adapted to life in the Manfred state as if it had always been his home. Leo felt decidedly on the outside while Markus belonged, absorbing all the concepts their father taught him so easily and Leo couldn’t even start to grasp. Leo always got worked up, his emotions ever simmering, ready to boil over and make a mess, while Markus always went about his business quite unruffled like the perfect little robot he was.

Despite the tears that were falling freely now and the half dried up blood still plastered to one side of his face Markus went about his business now, without saying anything else he walked out into the dark. His steps firm and determined as if he were leading an army into war.

Leo walked towards the sliding door, and back again, checked the back pocket of his jeans, twirled in frustrated hesitation.

“At least take a flashlight you dumb fuck” Leo muttered under his breath, actually remembering to grab one as he went after his brother, because Markus hadn’t needed to hear him cry wolf to know a wolf had been near. 

Markus felt nauseous, his head throbbed and he couldn’t see much through his tears and the inky darkness but he knew this trail by heart. He stopped where the marks Leo had left when he dragged him home still stood, and followed after the other two sets of footprints as fast as he could, his path was suddenly illuminated and he didn’t have to squint in the dark anymore. Leo followed close behind shining the flashlight on the trail.

“Pretty sure these are going to Elijah’s creep crib” Leo said after they walked in silence for a long time

“If we cut by the lake we’ll make it there faster” Markus didn’t wait for Leo to agree with him before changing course but the flashlight kept shining behind him. When they arrived to the bank of the frozen lake Markus ran, desperately so, after the shadow he saw, leaving his brother behind.

 

    ▪   ▪   ▪   ▪

When Simon ran he immediately bumped against the first locked door, he could hear Kamski behind him groaning and standing up. With his heart beating so hard he could feel his chest raising with it, and his stomach threatening to make him hurl again he turned the knob–  Unlocked. Not because Kamski had forgotten to lock it, but because doors always opened for him when he sleepwalked.

He dashed out of the room smelling the chlorine of the red pool, his vision was getting blurrier and darker, and seeing through the blue haze was becoming harder. He was lost through the corridors trying to remember how to get to the front door, when he heard the startling sound of shattering glass “Daniel” Simon thought as he ran towards it. When he felt the mirror pieces crunching under his feet he heard another and when he reached that one, another. He paused only for a moment to grab a second shard from the floor so he could defend himself not realizing he was also leaving a bloody crumb trail.

He lost count of how many doors he had opened as he darted through the corridors, wondering if he was effectively lost in the maze of Kamski’s slaughter house, expecting him to appear round the next corner, or the door he was just opening, but what he felt was the shock of the crisp, cold air hitting his face. He sprinted out into the snow, hearing the powdery sound of it under his feet; the chill air seemed to help with the burn he was starting to feel in his throat. But freedom was a trade off, he was out of the house but he was completely blind now that there wasn’t any light to give some contrast to the blue film over his eyes, and he was directionless without a glass trail to follow.

“Daniel, I’m sorry” Simon said as he ran blindly, trying not to trip but tripping every few steps regardless, scrambling through the snow as fast as he could and crashing into a few trees; gripping his weapon in one hand and his brother’s heart in the other “I should have told them about you. It’s not that I was embarrassed, or angry at you, or that I forgot you. I’d never forget you. I miss you every day, but I was afraid to be alone again. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there with you” Simon said, his words coming out of him as misty white ghosts “Thank you for being here for me”

“I left you first, I shouldn’t have done that” was what Daniel thought of saying, but what he said was “You are so, so, so dumb!” this really wasn’t the moment for apologies Daniel didn’t want or need in the first place. Maybe if his brother spent less time saying nonsense he could focus on running a little bit less like a drunken turkey with a death wish.

Simon thought he heard the sound of lightning hitting a mirror and replied “I know” with a small laugh right before he tripped and fell face first into the ice.

The fall hurt him but he didn’t care, he was at the lake. If he could cross it maybe he could reach the highway, and what was the worst that could happen? If he died hit by a car because he ran blindly into the road like prey running away from a hunter, or if he drowned or froze in the lake he loved, so be it. He wasn’t giving Kamski the satisfaction of catching him again. Simon flitted across the ice as fast as he could, trying not to think. He was feeling sicker now, his temple burned, his sight was completely gone, liquid was starting to gurgle up his throat and his nose making it hard to breathe, it dripped down his face with the bitter taste of bile and that blue oily liquid he drank, he felt the greasy liquid coming out even from the corner of his eyes.

Simon heard what he felt sure was another set of steps rushing towards him in the ice and before he could think of a plan a hand closed around his arm. Simon pulled himself back trying to slip from its fingers, getting hold of his makeshift knife ready to strike, when he heard the sound he wanted to hear the least, and also wanted to hear the most at that moment.

“Simon, it’s me.” The voice cracked slightly “It’s me”  

“Markus?” Simon said half wondering if this was a cruel trick or a hallucination, when he felt Markus pulling him into a hug. Every single doubt evaporated as he felt Markus arms around him holding Simon’s body to his. Simon hugged him back as hard as he could. He had been so afraid Markus had been badly hurt or worse. That piece of his fear had been the worst part of it all. 

 

    ▪   ▪   ▪   ▪

“You have to go. Kamski said he’d kill you” Simon said, as they let go of each other, although all Markus wanted to do was keep on holding him. Simon’s voice tripped on his words. He was shivering although it didn’t seem to be only because of the cold, if anything Simon felt all too warm.

“I’m not going anywhere” Markus said firmly “I got you” He wrapped his coat over Simon’s shoulders.

“What the fuck—” Leo said as he caught up with him and shined the light over Simon. Simon tensed at the sound of the new voice.

“It’s only Leo” Markus said, rubbing Simon’s arm up and down reassuringly, trying to comfort him and also convince himself that he had really got him back

Leo and Markus were equally horrified by what they saw. One wanted to run away like a rat abandoning a sinking ship, but didn’t. The other wanted nothing but to check on his loved person and he did. Blue liquid was coming out of Simon’s eyes, his mouth and his nose, there were smears of it all over him. There was a dark blue haze over his eyes, like blue ink staining even his irises an odd electric blue, opaque and dull and blind. Simon obviously couldn’t see him, and there was a light shining on his temple, like a sinister firefly. Markus reached out to touch it.

“Don’t” Leo said grabbing his arm “we don’t know— it could fuck him up worse or some—Oh, god, is it changing color?” Leo said, his voice going up an octave “It was red before—”

“He needs a doctor” Markus said, his voice was even and self-assured in the surface but he was with the two people who could hear the fear under it.  Simon squeezed his arm, as always being soothing and trying to comfort him even after whatever ordeal he had just gone through.

“No shit” Leo spat “Here, your turn” he gave Markus the flashlight as he started walking towards the bank of the lake “We need to get out of the ice, you two are crazy stupid walking over it” he walked a few steps ahead of them. Markus shone the flashlight before them as he held Simon against him. Every step he took seemed a bit heavier, his breathing was shallower, and he kept gurgling the blue liquid up. Markus held on to him tighter.

“’bot,” and Leo always pronounced it clearly as butt “remember what we said we’d do if that creep tried some shit?”

“I do, but I never liked your plan”

“We do it if we see him. I tackle him, you run get help”

“I’m taller than you now.” Markus didn’t say stronger but he was pretty sure he was too “I should tackle him, you go get help”

“Markus, I’m not carrying your messed up boyfriend, leaking who knows what from everywhere, through the woods and the snow with Dr. Frankenstein at my heels, I rather be shoot on site. Stick to the original plan” Leo said irritably

“Do you mean on sight?” Markus asked without really thinking

Leo glared at him “I sure do now”

Markus felt Simon squeezing his arm a second time “If you want to fight him I’ll fight him with you, but I’m not leaving you behind again” Simon said decidedly, Markus’ heart tightened with the knowledge that all Simon ever did was try to protect him.

“I’m not leaving you either” Markus said seriously, leaning his head softly against Simon’s for a second

“Oh my god, pass the joint around, fuck” Leo groaned under his breath, feeling now more than ever before he must still be trapped in the middle of a nightmare.  Daniel agreed.

“This is as far as you go” Kamski said, finally swooping on them as Markus had expected him to do for years. He walked casually towards them from the woods into the lake just as they were nearing the bank.

“Well, thank you for retrieving my lost lab rabbit. We still have some tests to run, you can give it to me and go on your way”

Markus and Simon tensed only thinking of how to protect the other, Leo didn’t move

“No?” Kamski talked amicably, just as if they were at one of those evening parties in Detroit “It’s all the same to me, it will be a pathetic little story. Notorious ne’er-do-well Leo Manfred as ever jealous of his overachieving golden brother shoots him in the face, then goes on the run never to be seen again, more likely overdosing in some cheap motel. Not even Carl will think it farfetched” Kamski aimed his gun at Markus, Simon stepped forward trying to shield him from dangers he couldn’t even see

“Simon, stay behind me!” Markus said as he pulled him back

“You stay behind me” Simon replied as Leo clumsily drew out a gun of his own.

“If you shoot them, I’ll shoot you” Leo said, pointing the gun at Kamski, trying to remember what the correct way to hold it was

Kamski smiled “Is that even loaded, Leo” he said in the patronizing tone he always used when he talked to Carl Manfred’s sorry excuse for an elder son 

Leo pulled the trigger— it wasn’t.

Leo threw the gun at Kamski as hard as he could, hitting him squarely in the face

“Run, you stupid fucks!” Leo said, lunging to grab Markus’ arm and pulling them both with him towards the bank “Nobody is fighting that psycho! Fuck that!”

Daniel disagreed. 

As they rushed towards the edge of the lake the ice started to crack under them. Simon slipped. Markus managed to pull him back to him, but Simon lost his grip on the thirium pump he was holding. The pump rolled on the breaking ice, falling into the dark water with a little blop.

“Dammit!” Kamski said with quiet rage, looking at the place where the pump had disappeared, he seemed to actually consider diving for it, but the decision was made for him when the ice gave up beneath him, cracking with a sound that almost resembled human laughter, as he fell through it into the freezing lake.

“Daniel—” Simon whispered, and when Markus looked back he saw the creature from the mirror trying to pull Kamski down into the water, not very successfully, his hands were as effective as sea foam against a rock, and Kamski didn’t seem too worried about the apparition, his fall, his bleeding shoulder, or the possibility of hypothermia. He looked focused as if he had just finished swimming laps in his pool as he tried to pull himself back up on the ice. The creature looked furious and distorted but Markus was no longer alarmed by it, not if Simon had a name for him. 

“Don’t look back, just run” Leo said, looking exactly like an alarmed, wet rat although he was completely dry, grabbing the flashlight back from Markus as well as a fistful of  his brother’s sweater, saying every curse he knew and many he invented, as Markus kept Simon near him trying to be his eyes. 

“Leo, turn off the flashlight, he can see where we are going” Markus said. Leo turned it off, rendering them invisible but nearly as blind as Simon was, the crescent moon hardly giving them any light.

All Simon could see was dark blue, but he felt Markus’ warmth, his arm around him pulling him close, guiding him the best he could through the woods as Simon tried to keep up, completely aware of the weapon still in his hand, he’d go down fighting, he would protect Markus no matter what. He heard a popping sound approaching behind them, close but oddly hollow.

“What’s that?” Simon asked

“The fucker is shooting at us” Leo muttered, grabbing onto Markus sweater tighter at the same time a bullet went through Markus leg bringing him down, taking Leo and Simon down with him. They scrambled in the snow trying to make sense of what had happened, Markus assured Simon he was fine, as Leo who was no expert examined his wound, it did seem like the bullet had gone in and out cleanly, but as Markus tried to stand up his leg gave way under him making him lose his balance.

“Leo, just take Simon and go” Markus said clenching his jaw hard, trying to ignore the searing pain

“I told you I’m not leaving you” Simon replied “My legs work just fine, I will help you walk” Simon said, standing up unsteadily and searching with his hands for Markus’ arm to help him up.

As Leo watched them being so gentle with each other, so concerned for the other’s safety, he knew the three of them were as good as dead. There was no way they could make it out of this one. Markus couldn’t walk on his own and Simon couldn’t see, not to mention Simon’s legs definitely didn’t seem to be working just fine and he looked as if he’d pass out any second, every single breath an obvious struggle as the blue goo clogged his airways. Leo wouldn’t be able to carry either of them let alone both as much as five steps, addiction didn’t make you the fittest person. Leo wanted to run away again but he dug his nails into the palms of his hands willing himself to stay put.

“Enough” Kamski said catching up with them, not even out of breath. He didn’t even seem to be cold despite being completely soaked.

“Simon!” Markus said still down in the snow as Simon stepped forward towards Kamski’s voice, gripping the sharp mirror, his blood dripping freely down his hands, but he only held onto it harder. Kamski wouldn’t hurt Markus, Simon would never let that happen.

Kamski sighed “Without the pump you are useless to me, so I guess the pathetic Manfred drama will have to include the unfortunate friend in the wrong place at the wrong time” Kamski said shooting at him–  his gun jammed, but Daniel wasn’t sure if he would be able to pull off that trick twice, jamming guns wasn’t as easy as unlocking doors.

Leo took that as his cue and followed their original plan. He rushed past Simon and tackled Elijah but did not manage to bring him down. Leo wasn’t strong or a good fighter, as he scuffled with Elijah he knew this was a fight he was going to lose sooner than later. He wondered if his father would really believe all those things about him.

Leo grabbed the front of Kamski’s shirt when he saw another hand next to his do the same. He was about to tell Simon not to be an idiot, to go back to Markus, when he caught sight of Simon out of the corner of his eye, still behind him, carefully helping Markus stand up, both of them falling back down. He turned to look to his side realizing this one, although identical to Simon, wasn’t dripping blue liquid from everywhere, he didn’t have the blue cast over his eyes, but he looked haphazardly put together, like a badly made straw doll that would come undone at the slightest touch. Leo knew that feeling; it looked like Leo felt most of the time.

Daniel and Leo pushed Kamski away but he only looked exasperated and not really deterred. Kamski was about to raise his gun towards him when Leo felt the unexpected, shocking burn of a bullet grazing his arm.

“What the fuck, Reed!” the voice of Sheriff Anderson said somewhere in the woods. Kamski turned away from Leo and started shooting aimlessly into the trees, as Leo threw himself to the ground, his arm complaining loudly as he felt the wetness of his own blood starting to soak his shirt; cops were truly good for nothing asses.

“Stay down!” Leo called out to the two idiots even though they were hardly in shape to do anything else, but those kids had no self preservation instinct whatever. They would throw themselves into a battle ground as if they were bulletproof; it only took one of them to move for the other to follow with dumb, unwavering loyalty as if they were tied together. Kamski was engaged in a full blown shoot out by the time Leo managed to scramble back to where his brother was.

“Are you hurt?” Markus asked

“No more than you” Leo replied as both Markus and Simon pulled him towards them to whatever safety they could hope to get. The three of them tried to take cover the best they could as bullets kept shooting through the air above their heads, tree bark falling on them as the bullets pierced the tree they pressed themselves against.

That’s when Markus and Leo saw the apparition again. Daniel walked towards Kamski, who seemed completely unaware of anything but the men shooting at him from the dark, until Daniel was right in front of him. They saw Kamski hold his breath as Daniel sank his unsubstantial hand into Kamski’s chest, making him freeze for a second, more in perplexed surprise than anything else, sea foam and mist couldn’t really harm you, they could only chill you for a moment, but that second was enough for one of the officer’s bullets to find Kamski’s heart. It all happened so fast the brothers didn’t know if they could believe their eyes in the dark.

As Kamski died, something happened to Daniel too. Sticking around because of an arguably misdirected need for revenge seemed infinitely more like him. Simon didn’t need any looking after. Markus and his friends did enough of that, and he’d laugh at anyone who dared threaten someone his brother loved. Simon had an edge just as sharp and lethal as Daniel’s, but Simon would only use his to protect others. Daniel closed his eyes, calmly letting himself fall again, knowing this time there wouldn’t be a wet splat. “I wasn’t scared” he said with the sound of fading mist, hoping Simon would hear.

Sheriff Anderson let Reed handle the mess he ultimately had created, leaving Connor as the efficient backup, and walked towards the boys huddled together against a tree.

“You almost fucking kill us!” Leo spat, as Markus described what was happening to Simon.

“We’ll be waiting for your lawsuit, Manfred” Hank said infinitely glad they hadn’t actually killed any of them, when his eyes fell on Simon “Holy fuck, OK. You are coming with me, kiddo” Sheriff Anderson said as he lifted Simon off the ground “Manfred, are you well enough to help your brother?” Hank asked taking in Markus’ bleeding leg.

“Let’s go, stupid” Leo said, helping Markus up, supporting him awkwardly as they walked because Markus was taller than him and Leo’s arm was burning. Markus noticed his brother was shaking but didn’t comment on it.

“Markus?” Simon said

“I’m right here” Markus said reaching to touch Simon’s hand gripping the back of the Sheriff’s jacket

“Well, at least you didn’t bark at me this time” The Sheriff said, trying to alleviate what surely was going to be lifelong trauma with small talk, as you do.

“What do you mean?” Simon asked

“Remember, the day I went to pick you up and this kid wouldn’t let me near you” Hank scoffed “Didn’t think I looked like a real policeman”

“I’ve been meaning to apologize for that” Markus said sheepishly “to you too Simon”

Simon felt Markus squeezing his hand again and with it a weight lifted off his shoulders. So that had been it? Simon almost laughed. He had feared for so long there had been something grotesquely wrong with him Sheriff Anderson had been wary of and all this time it had only been Markus looking out for him from day one.  

The other three tried to ignore how the yellow light on Simon’s temple started whirling actively, the Sheriff walked faster. Markus squeezed his brother’s shoulder as he picked up his pace; Leo understood it meant he wanted to keep up with the Sheriff, even if every step felt like a knife tearing every muscle in his leg.  

 

    ▪   ▪   ▪   ▪

Hank and Leo sat under the off putting hospital light with one empty seat between them, Hank didn’t see the harm in putting some distance between the eldest Manfred and a cop, there had been enough excitement for a day. Leo was all stitched up and before long Markus’ limped out taking the empty seat. Simon wasn’t going to be as easy to patch up.

“Shouldn’t you be lying down?” Hank asked

“Not yet” Markus said quietly, exchanging a small, conspiratorial nod with Kara as she walked past them with Amanda Stern towards the nurse station.

Professor Stern had arrived swiftly to explain the ins and outs of thirium and the light indicator to Lucy with cold, cutting efficiency so she could extract it without damaging Simon’s nervous system permanently. It would require a gifted surgeon, Professor Stern said grimly, the kind that you didn’t usually find practicing in a small town hospital. There was no one better for it than Lucy in that case, she had talked to Rose and been preparing for a few hours, the surgery would start soon. As Hank sat in the waiting area the professor talked to Kara, leaving her contact details in case they had any more questions.

“Your perfume is really lovely” one of the nurses complimented her

“Thank you” The professor smiled politely “I have always been partial to roses”

She nodded just as politely to Hank as she left, leaving the room smelling like a rose garden. Hank didn’t care for it at all, rather cloying for his tastes.

“By the way–” Leo said, suddenly punching Markus’ arm as hard as he could, wincing because he pulled one of his fresh stitches as he did so

“Leo!” Markus said as both of them turned to look at the Sheriff as if they were much younger children misbehaving in front of their babysitter

“Don’t look at me. I’m off duty and I didn’t spawn either of you, thank god” Hank crossed his arms and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the hospital noises and smells, waiting impatiently for Connor to arrive with their father so he could leave with a clear conscience.

“That was for taking my car” Leo said, then he seemed to remember something and added “and almost getting me killed, fucking dumbass”

“Whatever you say” Markus said shoving Leo away “thank you, anyway” he completed in a tone that didn’t quite manage to be sarcastic

“For what? I’d get disowned if anything happened to you, and right after disowning me the old man would drop dead”

Markus wanted to say something comforting to his brother, about how their dad would be just as upset if something bad happened to him, but Markus didn’t quite know how to talk to Leo about important things, about feelings things, especially if their dad was involved.

“You helped Simon, so thank you for that” Markus said feeling it wasn’t good enough, but he was wholeheartedly thankful to his brother not only for walking into the dark with him, but for making them stop the day they found Simon in the snow.

“Don’t forget to mention me in your wedding speech then” Leo said flatly

“Don’t die or get sent to prison and we’ll even invite you” Markus said imitating his tone, Leo started to shake and it took Markus a second to realize he was trying to contain his laughter “What?” Markus asked against his better judgment

“You two are so mushy, that’s going to be the cheesiest wedding ever. Do you have a theme for it yet?” Leo looked at him with a smirk “You have thought about it!” Leo said apparently reading whatever showed on Markus’ face, Markus had indeed thought about it “Which theme is it gonna be little brother? Don’t forget you have to ask him out first”

“I have!” Markus started defensively only to lose momentum “I mean, we kissed… “ Markus trailed off, frowning as he realized he hadn’t really asked Simon anything first or after, he only assumed–  No, he knew Simon loved him as much as Markus did.

“You kissed him before even asking him out?” Leo laughed again “Don’t look so sketched out, he likes you, so I guess he must like bold and stup– Swan Lake!” Leo said suddenly without finishing his first thought “It’s going to be Swan Lake, isn’t it?”

“Manfred, stop cold reading your brother, it’s weird and I have had enough of that this week” Hank said, his eyes still closed but the corner of his mouth curled up in a small smile.  Leo slipped down his seat still shaking with the laughter he was trying to stop, the leftover adrenaline made him giddy.

“Tchaikovsky was gay, you know, so I thought it could be nice and we do have the lake right there” Markus said trying to justify the foolish idea nobody was ever supposed to know about “Simon loves the lake” he said growing quieter “Is he going to be fine?” Markus asked to his shoes, wanting to ask but not having anyone to direct the question to. Kara had reluctantly given him a few details, if the surgery to remove the light indicator went well Simon would make a full recovery, his eyesight would clear giving it a few months, but that did nothing to make him feel less afraid or anxious. Hank hesitated as he was inevitably reminded of Cole’s botched surgery but Leo replied right away

“You know he’s tougher than he looks” Leo punched Markus just as hard as he had done before, but with his good arm this time “he was ready to cut that creep. In a few years you’ll have your awful lake wedding or whatever, I’ll be there laughing at you.”  

Leo would be there trying not to cry like an idiot, almost stepping on one of the swans North would convince Markus and Simon to have, winning $100 off of Josh who would bet they’d never agree to the idea. The swan taking it entirely too personally would attempt to murder Leo in cold blood. Josh would have the presence of mind to film it for posterity and North would laugh so hard champagne would come out of her nose as both grooms tried to prevent the fowl murder, and that’s how Markus would end up sporting a swollen black eye in most of his wedding pictures, which would end up in several tabloids telling in explicit and torrid detail exactly why famous, always poised pianist Markus Manfred had acquired a shiner at his own wedding, and when asked at interviews “one of the swans was attacking my brother” wouldn’t sound that much better.

“Markus!” Carl Manfred said as he got out of the elevator with Connor “Leo!”

“Dad!” Markus said standing up and limping towards his father, while Leo stayed put in his seat.

“Connor caught me up on everything, are you alright?” Carl said holding his son by his shoulders so he could examine him, brushing his fingers briefly over the bandages on his head, Markus nodded “Now, listen. Simon will be fine too. Don’t you worry, son” Carl Manfred said pulling Markus into a long hug, knowing exactly what would be weighing heavier on his son’s mind at that moment.

“I’m really sorry to interrupt” Kara said softly “but I can sneak you in now so you can see him before he goes in and then I’ll take you to Josh and North’s room so you can rest, okay?”

“We’ll be right here, Markus” Carl said, squeezing his son’s shoulder

Markus accompanied Kara to the elevator, and as she pushed in the number of their floor, he could only make out the words “proud” and “brave” as his dad checked on Leo. Before the doors closed, he saw his brother looking down because he hated when people saw him cry.

“I’ll be back in 5 minutes” Kara said as she let him in into the preparation room where Simon was. Markus hovered over the bed for a second. Simon looked better without the blue liquid everywhere, but he was too pale and the light on his temple still whirled yellow.

“Simon” Markus whispered, hoping his voice wouldn’t give away how anxious he was. Simon opened his eyes, the odd blue film still over them.

“Markus” Simon said searching for him with his hand, Markus couldn’t hold it fast enough “I was so afraid you were really hurt, or that I’d never see you again” Simon said, actually chuckling a bit “Well, I guess I haven’t seen you again yet” he joked, feeling infinitely better just by hearing Markus’ voice, knowing he was safe and unharmed.

“Don’t be a smartass” Markus said with a small laugh, squeezing Simon’s hand. He couldn’t make jokes just yet, not until he knew Simon was going to be okay.

“I need to tell all of you about Daniel” Simon said, there were so many things he needed to say to Markus and he didn’t know if his time was still running out “but if I can’t– don’t believe everything they said about him, don’t let Josh or North believe those things either”

“You’ll tell us yourself when you are better” Markus said with a frown Simon couldn’t see but could clearly hear

“But if I can’t” Simon repeated seriously “my brother murdered someone” he said in the simplest way he could find, details could wait but he needed Markus to hear that directly from him, in case he didn’t get to tell him the rest of it “but he wasn’t evil or a demon or any of the things they called him. I miss him, and I still love him just as much as I always did, even if that makes me a bad person”

“Hey” Markus said softly “I know something about brothers that make bad decisions but aren’t bad people, and how could loving your brother make you bad” Markus brushed Simon’s hair with his hand “I was so afraid of losing you” In his head Markus thought ‘I am’ noticing with worry that the strange yellow light on Simon’s temple had changed to light blue. It made his chest tighten all over again with fear for him “He took you and I couldn’t do anything–”

“It’s not your fault” Simon said quickly “and you couldn’t lose me if you tried. I’d– I’d always make my way back to you” Simon said shyly, but uncertainty made him resolute. This wasn’t how he had wanted to say it, he wouldn’t even be able to see Markus’ face when he did, but he may not get another chance– “I love you” Simon blurted out before he could think better of it “With everything in me, even if I’m not– not good enough–“

“What are you saying? Simon, I belong to you” Markus said intertwining their fingers together “I love you so, you are my heart– and my boyfriend…” he added somewhat awkwardly playing with their intertwined fingers “if you want to be” 

To Markus’ delight that made Simon laugh “I’ll have to think about it” Simon said trying not to smile and failing as he said “Yes, please” without waiting even a second “Can I have a kiss now?” Simon asked tugging gently at Markus’ sleeve

“Anytime” Markus leaned down, pressing his lips softly against Simon’s “Come back to me again, alright? I’ll be waiting” Markus whispered as they broke their kiss. He could hear Kara’s steps approaching to tell him his time was up.

“Of course” Simon said simply, of course he’d always find his way back to Markus, he belonged nowhere else but by his side.

 

 

    ▪   ▪   ▪   ▪

Markus and Josh wouldn’t move to Detroit before Simon was fully recovered. School could wait for them one year.

Hank Anderson wondered at their resilience when he saw them around town, happy and carefree, a sturdy safety net ready to catch them whenever they weren’t doing that well. Markus all but lived at Rose’s and Simon could hardly step out without a full entourage; Ralph, Jerry, Traci and Alice orbited around him at all times eager to help, in all probability only making his navigation harder, but Simon didn’t mind. Leo Manfred drove them around, looking put upon but not letting his brother anywhere near the wheel again. Now Markus counted the days to his 18th birthday and his own car, while Josh pored over vintage car magazines picking the one he’d restore next, and North showed off to Chloe at every opportunity she got. Hard to tell who had the worse peacock tendencies, Markus or North.

In the summer, when Simon’s sight was just barely starting to clear, they went to the lake. Simon sat on the dock in his dry swimming trunks and Markus’ black and blue hoodie, the condition of his eyes not good enough yet for him to be of much help in that day’s mission. Next to him Chloe sat placidly in her blue swimsuit, taking a small break as the other four swam.

“Simon!” Markus waved from the water only to get his boyfriend’s attention. Simon could barely see Markus’ silhouette but he waved back to it happily before Markus dived again, while North floated lazily on her back, bored of searching the bottom of the lake, finding nothing but rocks and gross, slimy plants. She despised swimming, even if Chloe did look so nice in her swimsuit, but water wouldn’t lure her in with girls in swimsuits, North wasn’t that simple, water would have to think of something else.

“That’s a very pretty picture” Josh said swimming close to her looking towards the dock where Simon and Chloe chirped companionably to each other “What happens if I too fall in love with a mild mannered, sky-eyed blond?”

“It would be so weird…”

“Trifecta” Josh said with a playful smirk before taking a deep breath and disappearing under the surface of the lake as Markus came up for air, disappointed at still being empty handed. Leo poked his shoulder.

“Here” Leo showed him Daniel’s thirium pump as discreetly as if it were the ill-gotten oxycontin he used to trade “It’s your boyfriend, only fair you get to be the hero” he said with a shrug

Markus grinned at his brother “Leo found it!” he shouted without taking the pump from him

“Fantastic” North said drily “I was getting tired of this” she said swimming towards the dock where Chloe was already waiting for her with a towel

“You dived about twice in the last 3 hours!” Josh accused following behind

“That’s two more times than I ever wanted to”

Simon heard Josh and North arguing as they came out of the water and then he saw the blurry blobs that were Markus and Leo, each of them sitting on the dock at either side of him much like the day they had put him in the car between them. Markus put his arms around him as Leo placed the regulator in his hands.

“Here you go, Si” Leo said, maybe they couldn’t help but to get along after what they had gone through together; which worried Markus at first, knowing how harsh Leo could be, but although he roughhoused with Simon without any consideration for Simon’s recovering eyesight, and called him all sorts of names just like he did with Markus, Leo was never truly hostile or malicious. He never was now that he could hear his own voice in his head, over the white noise of the itchy hunger inside him that always edged him towards the worst version of himself. It made Markus reconsider what was actually unkind, and what was just Leo’s clumsy way of showing he didn’t hate when you were in the room with him.

The six of them walked through the shadowy woods, feeling a slight chill because they had their still wet swimsuits under their clothes, all but Simon who felt warm and safe in the hoodie that smelled just like Markus; They walked towards the place Simon had selected, where Markus had helped him dig a small grave among a few mossy rocks for all Simon had left of Daniel. A serene place he liked and could always visit.

“Is this safe?” Josh asked “burying it in the woods?”

“Although toxic if ingested thirium isn’t an environmental hazard” Chloe told him with a charming little nod. Josh reminded himself this was not the right time to ask Chloe if she had, perhaps, a cousin of any gender she could introduce to him, as Simon finished burying his brother’s synthetic heart.

In the slow days spent in their hospital room Simon had told them the basics about Daniel and what had happened to him. Now he told them everything else, a defiant hint in his voice as he made clear he loved his brother despite what he had done and the sorrow he had caused.

North and Leo endeavored not to show they felt particularly touched by it, both of them trying to ignore how close they had come to an end closely parallel to Daniel’s. North knew all too well what it was like to hate someone so much you wanted nothing but to tear them apart, gouge their eyes out at the very least, and Leo knew how fast one bad choice could snowball and crush you before you had time to make sense of anything.

“Your brother sounds like a piece of work” North said to deflect her feelings

“North!” Josh and Markus rebuked as Leo snorted to deflect his own

“It’s only a fact!  I saw him, and when I die the first thing I’ll do is look for him and punch him in the face for sneering at me like a jerk”

“Can you punch a ghost?” Josh asked with a fond smile

“I sure will try, with my own ghost fists”

“What you mean you saw him?” Simon asked, tilting his head slightly in a new gesture he had adopted since his sight had started getting better, as if that would help sway the blue haze so he could see more clearly.

“I saw him in the fire, he was a moron” North had only told Chloe about it, but now seemed like the right moment to come clean with it.

“I think he helped us get out” Chloe added “I didn’t see him, though”

“You are too sweet” North hugged her girlfriend to herself playfully as she said it “He looked like a jackass” she added looking flatly at the boys

“I seriously think you two would have gotten along” Markus teased

“They really would have” Simon chirped in

“Flattered or insulted, flattered or insulted” North chanted dangerously

“With Leo too” Simon added

“Oh. Insulted, definitely”

“Right back at ya, puck!” Leo replied but he said so shuffling slightly away to put a bit more distance between himself and North.

“I guess I must have seen Daniel too, that day on the road” Josh said, retelling his own encounter mostly to prevent any further bickering between Leo and North in what was effectively a sort of funeral for Simon’s brother.

They weren’t all that surprised when they realized everyone had a ghost story to tell, and Leo and North snickered at exactly the same time when Markus told his own. Daniel didn’t seem to like Markus too much. Markus wasn’t sure he would have particularly cared for Daniel either, but Simon’s loyalty to his brother seemed to go both ways and that was good enough for him.

 

In the fall of the year they turned 19, when Markus and Josh finally moved to the city and got their apartment ready, the first thing they did, just as planned, was invite Simon and North over to check it out. Their apartment was slightly quirky in the industrial way Josh was really into. Expensive and spacious, all wooden floors, high ceilings and big windows, because Markus needed good acoustics and he could easily afford it. Josh would have his misgivings about accepting the part of it that Markus gave him so freely if it didn’t mean that they could put their project into motion.

“Watch it North!” Josh said as North tripped on the stairs

“Well, if you two weirdos hadn’t blindfolded us and then made us walk up an endless stairwell maybe–”

“We are almost there” Markus said, gently leading Simon up the stairs and through the door, while Josh tried to guide North

“Ready?” Josh said as they took their blindfolds off

What North saw was a beautifully set up bedroom, which she guessed was Josh’s since there was no piano in it for Markus to practice, and Markus had talked them all to death for months describing the exact type of piano he wanted to go in his bedroom; The room was illuminated by the evening sun coming in through the big windows and the skylight over the bed. A door opened into a really nice bathroom, and another into the hall, where she could see an identical room just across from the one she was standing in, that one must be Markus’.  

“What do you think?” Josh asked

“It’s not absolutely terrible” North replied with a little smirk

“We do hope so, because it’s yours” Markus said patting her arm. North looked at Markus and then back at Josh being met only by their goofy smiles, at least Josh’s was goofy; Markus’ was more like an awkward lopsided smirk. When she turned to Simon he shook his head, he knew as much as she did.  

“Markus and I thought you and Simon could come stay with us, for visits or–” Josh and Markus exchanged a little nod “to live here–“ Josh said

“If you want” Markus continued “So you two can figure out what you want to do–“

“There’s no rush” Josh finished

Simon and North looked at each other knowing they would accept. They weren’t as certain of their paths as Markus and Josh were, but they were being offered time and options and the opportunity to find their way together instead of drifting apart. 

“You don’t have to answer right away” Josh said to take the weight of the moment off them “Let’s take a grand tour, the room across is mine. Same layout, and we have our own bathrooms, North, but  Markus and Simon will have to share”

“Uh! True love test!” North teased

“For sure!” Josh said with a smile guiding them through the rest of the apartment “Living room, kitchen, but even more important, Markus’ grand piano!” Josh’s said with a flourish towards the beautiful instrument in the middle of the room “he’ll drive us insane no doubt, but we’ll be able to roast him when he’s famous so it will be worth it.”

“You should have seen when they brought it in, this one had to come in through the window” Markus said

“Nobody was a fan of Markus or his pianos that day” Josh added

North and Simon turned to look at the windows, the top panes of which were stained glass in bottle greens and cobalt blues; Simon smiled to himself, they were cracked open letting the chill evening air in, only making the apartment feel cozier. North had set her eye on that window seat, she could already see herself perching there in the cold autumn evenings like a contented yet judgmental cat, while Simon had his eye on the beautiful kitchen, there were so many things he wanted to bake but Rose’s oven wasn’t near as good as the one Josh and Markus had.

“This is Markus’” Josh said opening the door to the third bedroom, giving its owner away only by the smaller upright piano Markus had been such a pain about standing on one side, and a digital keyboard on the other. He was covering all his bases. Josh led them through the connecting bathroom into the fourth room.

Simon’s bedroom was an exact copy of the others, except his had a few crystal suncatchers cleverly set to look as if they were suspended by nothing, sparkling bubbles scattering little wisps of the autumn sunset around the room. If those chips of light could describe a feeling, it would be the one inside his chest at that moment, only shining brighter and warmer when Markus put his arms around his shoulders.

“So you can run away when I won’t shut up” Markus said pressing a soft kiss to his boyfriend’s head as Simon leaned into him

“If you cry I’m leaving” North warned immediately

“I’m not crying!” Simon protested

“Please, no crying until later. I haven’t shown you the best part yet!” Josh said excitedly, opening the door of Simon’s room back into their living room. 

“After seeing it Josh wouldn’t have any other apartment” Markus explained mysteriously as they joined Josh. They looked out the window into the near harbor where there was nothing but an old, rusty, enormous ship resting on the water.  

“So, what are we supposed to be excited about?” North asked genuinely puzzled

“Jericho!” Josh said almost proudly

North looked at Simon as she often did when she needed him to translate Markus or Josh’s dork speak. Simon only gave her a little shrug.

“I know it looks ugly, and rusted and like we could die terrible, gruesome deaths inside, but I talked to the landlord and we are free to use it as we wish as long as we live here. Can you imagine?”

“You do have this odd tendency to love old garbage” North said

“Who wants to go explore the old garbage?”

“Oh, me!” North said catching the flashlight Josh threw at her “Are you coming, or are you staying to make out?” she asked looking back at Markus and Simon with a smirk

“And let you call dibs on the best spots on Josh’s creepy ship?” Markus said “No way!” Simon completed

“Oh, please! Don’t do that, it’s far too cheesy!” North said with a groan “Josh, tell them to behave!”

Simon held Markus’ hand as they followed North and Josh outside. The four of them certain they were exactly where they belonged, and maybe Simon was right after all. It couldn’t be only luck or chance what had thrown the four of them together, there had to be at least a dash of sorcery to it.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Thank you so much for reading this story!  
> [Leo like YEET!]


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